How a Nightcap is Robbing You of What You Really Need to Survive and Thrive During COVID-19 and Beyond

Hello,

It's Sunita here.

If you have walked over to your liquor cabinet and poured yourself a nightcap during this pandemic, consumer reports suggest you are not alone. 

"U.S. sales of alcoholic beverages rose 55% in the week ending March 21, according to market research firm Nielsen. Spirits like tequila, gin and pre-mixed cocktails led the way, with sales jumping 75% compared to the same period last year. Wine sales were up 66% while beer sales rose 42%. And online sales far outpaced in-store sales. Nielsen said online alcohol sales were up 243%. Danelle Kosmal, a Nielsen vice president, suspects growth rates peaked that week as people loaded up their pantries before state stay-at-home orders went into effect." Source- Marketwatch

The negative effects of alcohol on our health, decision making and behaviors is of grave concern during any time, but especially so during a pandemic when stresses are more than any other time we have experienced. The COVID-19  pandemic is affecting every family in our country, and will likely have a yet unknown, and in many cases, a reasonably projected long lasting impact on our health and well being.

It is not unusual for us to turn to alcohol in times of stress, thinking it will help us feel relaxed, and take the edge off our worries and anxiety. 

But the exact opposite happens. 

And it may be the beginning of a vicious cycle that drags us down the dangerous path of decline, and possible addiction.

To be able to fight, and overcome the stressors of the COVID19 pandemic, it is critical that we maintain optimal physical, emotional and mental health. We must be focused, and have the clarity necessary to ably make short-term and long- term decisions with perspective. For that we need 7-8 hours of restorative sleep. Excessive, or even small amounts of alcohol in many cases will not allow us to get that. Drinking before bedtime is especially detrimental to our sleep. 

We need 7-8 hours of restful and restorative sleep to function optimally, so a nightcap is not helping us survive, or thrive during a pandemic that has unleashed stress, worries about our futures, and major disruptions in our personal, social and professional lives.

You may believe that a nightcap helps you sleep more soundly. Untrue! Let me explain how.

1- Alcohol is a sedative. 

You may ask why you feel enlivened after drinking alcohol if it is a sedative. Well, the first part of the brain that is immobilized by alcohol is our prefrontal cortex. That is the part of the brain that helps control our impulses and restrains our body. So after drinking an alcoholic beverage, we initially feel like we have "loosened up" and are more relaxed. We may even feel elated, excited and energized. But this gaiety changes into sluggishness as other parts of our brain start to feel the sedative effects of alcohol.

We give up a state of consciousness more readily and slip into a state of sedation. This not the same as sleep. If you were to see the electrical brainwave state of your brain in this period, it would look very different from when you experience natural sleep.

2- Alcohol before bedtime fragments your sleep. 

It is causes mini awakenings all night long which are not remembered by us, but negatively impact the nature of natural sleep, causing it to be non restorative. The next day becomes exhausting.

3- Alcohol is one of the most powerful suppresants of REM sleep. 

Our REM sleep aids us in memory integration and association, the type of information processing required for developing grammatical rules in new language learning, in synthesizing sets of related facts into an interconnected whole. 

It takes our liver and kidneys many hours to degrade and excrete the alcohol consumed before we sleep. Nightly alcohol will disrupt your sleep. More specifically, any alcohol consumption after noon-2 pm will disrupt your sleep.

In addition to the many physical and mental harmful effects it has on us, fragmented sleep and deprivation disruption of REM sleep will result in exhaustion and poor decision making the next day. 

Poor decisions most likely will include having a nightcap the next night, and then every night. You get the picture. It is a cascading problem that robs us of our ability to manage our stress and survive the pandemic. 

In case you need assistance with alcohol addiction, and/or want more information about Alcohol and Covid-19, please explore this link alcohol and COVID19. Any history of trauma, mental injury, mental illness, depression, anxiety,etc. may put you at a higher risk/susceptibility to alcohol abuse during this stressful time. Do not wait to seek help. If you are suffering from sleep deprivation, insomnia, daytime fatigue/sleepiness, snoring, see your PCP or a sleep specialist immediately. You may have an undiagnosed sleep disorder.

While in quarantine, consider a yellow balloon approach to life. Abstinence is the best, and most predictable way to get a good nights sleep.

 Learn more about the "yellow balloon".

Get enough natural sleep. Wake up refreshed. See your problems with a fresh perspective, think creatively, and overcome being stuck. Get to work. Surviving COVID-19 is not the goal. Thriving beyond it is!

Wishing you a week of great sleep and wise decisions,

Love,

Sunita

#selfloveselfcarefirst #selflove #selfcare #sleep #alcohol #nightcap #sleepfragmentation #REM #sleepdeprivation #addiction #COVID19 #stress #survive #thrive #decisionmaking #wellness #mentalhealth #trauma #sleepapnea #insomnia

 

Losing The Quarantine 15 is Now a Self Love Self Care First Top Priority

Hello,
It's Sunita here.

How are you all doing?

It's now been over 3 months since COVID19 took over our lives. From the initial shock, horror and disbelief, we have gone through different stages of emotional reactions to the pandemic, and how it is impacting us. These reactions and responses have had physical consequences. One of which, for many of us, has been weight gain.

There are many compelling, and valid reasons for this weight gain. The stress of work pattern changes and employment loss, closure of gyms, stocking and consumption of high calorie/low nutritional value non perishable foods, home schooling and being confined to our homes almost 24/7 has taken a toll on our waistlines as well as our mental health.

Having the opportunity to have an afternoon cocktail (or two), and turning to alcohol for stress and boredom relief (alcohol actually doesn't help for that purpose. It is a depressant, and disrupts our sleep pattern, so we end up being more depressed and making poor choices, which makes matters worse) has added pounds to our frames.

Lastly, because we have had more time at home, we have baked our hearts out. Sweets taste good, and baking is a soothing activity that has a calming effect. So it's no surprise that we huddled in our kitchens and instinctively channeled Betty Crocker in the first couple of months of this pandemic.

We are seeing and feeling the consequences of all this now. Jokes are flying all over the internet about the COVID 15.

But Quarantine weight gain is not a joke.

It's time. It's high time now. It's time for Self Love Self Care First to kick in and take over. Someone recently asked me what my favorite act of self care was. I told her, it depends.Well, today I say, it's getting back to a healthy weight.

We will talk about what we can do to achieve that goal in the coming weeks, but here are 3 things that I have committed to this week.

#1- Being kind to myself and looking at my weight gain through the prism of self love, self compassion, and understanding only. There is no place for harsh criticism of myself. It was, and remains a trying time. Coping with the realities of a deadly pandemic have been truly challenging. Many of my unavoidable short term coping methods resulted in my weight gain.

#2 - Being accountable for the choices I am making. It is my responsibility to maximize my well being. In order to make the best decisions I am capable of, I must work towards a calm mind. That is the state from which all healthy choices and decisions are made. So I have committed to limiting, and being extremely selective of what I read, listen to and allow into my brain and mind. I want the superhighway of my brain to be uncongested so I may access my highest thoughts in order to make the most self loving and healthy decisons for myself.

#3- Pause before making a food choice, so I am mindful of all that I eat and drink. Instead of making a plan of eliminating, or increasing the intake of certain foods and beverages, I have committed to stopping and pausing to think before I eat or drink. I already know what I need to do but want to rewire my brain to be more mindful when I am chosing how to nurture and nourish my body. Once this pause comes into play before I reach out to grab something from the fridge, I am confident that I will automatically draw from my vast knowledge base of nutrition, and make a healthy choice for myself.

I have learnt that to make lasting changes, I have to change my mindset. 

As a survivor of mental injuries due to attachment and complex childhood trauma, approaching a goal from a place of affirmation and self love has made all the difference in my life. Keeping a healthy balance between honest self examination, and self compassion helps me avoid making excuses for myself, and spiral into negativity and self condemnation. There is no need for judgement. 

What I need is understanding. I'm looking to be accountable, not abuse myself.
Negative feelings and distorted beliefs about myself do not motivate me to do better. They have historically done the opposite by fuelling my self doubts, allowing my tendencies for self sabotage to emerge, and permitting my unconscious desire to punish myself to take over. But no longer does this occur. The work done in effective therapy (Davanloo's ISTDP) took care of healing my brain, and helped me move past this damaged state by creating lasting changes in me.

I hope this honest sharing on my part about my COVID 15, and how I plan to go about losing it through Self Love Self Care First is helpful to you. I'd love to hear about your COVID 15 if you have it, and what you are doing to combat it.

We all deserve to live our best lives. Let's work towards that with kindness to ourselves. We will do much better, and go much farther that way!

With my very best of luck to you with your COVID15 loss,

Love,

Sunita

#selfloveselfcarefirst #selflove #selfcare #COVID15 #quarantineweightgain #COVID19 #pandemic #stresseating #stressbaking #alcohol #stressdrinking #mindful #selfcompassion #pause #uncertainty #accountability #choices #wellbeing #healthy #trauma #childhoodtrauma #attachment #attachmenttrauma #healing #HabibDavanloo #ISTDP #reachingthroughresistance

"The Only Thing Worthy of You is Compassion"- A Reminder and "Recommendation" from Thich Nhat Hanh in These Troubled Times

Hello,
It's Sunita here.

  We are travelling in times of great difficulty and pain. I once again, turn to poetry for comfort and guidance. Since there is so much original content out there right now by incredibly talented and compassionate people, I feel there is no need for me to add to it.

So, instead today, I share with you a poem by Thich Nhat Hanh that takes me to a place of mercy as I try to move away from anger, frustration and feelings of helplessness in the face of the gigantic problems we face in our world.

Recommendation

Promise me,

promise me this day,

promise now,

while the sun is overhead

exactly at the zenith,

promise me:

Even as they

strike you down

with a mountain of hatred and violence:

even as they step on you and crush you

remember brother, remember.

man is not our enemy.

The only thing worthy of you is compassion-

invincible, limitless, unconditional.

Hatred will never let you face

the beast in man.

One day, when you face this beast alone with your courage intact, your eyes kind,

untroubled

(even as no one sees them),

out of your smile

will bloom a flower.

And those who love you

will behold you

across ten thousand worlds of birth and dying.

Alone again,

I will go on with bent head,

knowing that love has become eternal.

On the long, rough road

the sun and moon will continue to shine.

Wishing you a week full of invincible, limitless and unconditional compassion,

Love,

Sunita

#selfloveselfcarefirst #poetry #thichnhathanh #thay #recommendation #alone again #compassion #love #mercy #courage #selflove #selfcare #mindfulness #meditation #eternal #smile

Photograph credit- "Thay Walking" by Paul Davis

How our Work Space Can Heal, Boost Productivity, Inspire Creativity and Bring us Hope

Hello,
It's Sunita here.

I’m a big believer of making our work spaces our sanctuaries. It’s a supreme act of self love self care first. But I never realized how much this is truly not a luxury in our lives, but a necessity, until recently.

The pandemic has impacted every aspect of our life. But in particular, it has wreaked havoc with our work lives. My own professional life has been turned upside down since I was mandated by our State Governor to close my dental practice and sleep center in mid March. Practicing dentistry will never be the same again, and getting ready to reopen in a few weeks has taken every ounce of my energy and thinking power. Contemplating the complex and ever evolving protocols that need to be put into place to make my office COVID 19 safe for my team, patients and myself took a toll on me that I had never felt before.

I would be tackling tasks with enthusiasm and energy for a couple of hours, making headway, and feeling very optimistic when suddenly I would hit a wall. Not just any wall, but a brick wall of great density. There would be no going around, or through this wall. I would feel unusually exhausted and depleted and become unable to put two simple, coherent sentences together. Nothing but stopping and taking a long break would help me. It would be hours before I would feel capable of mentally and physically regrouping. It seemed like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, or as if I was treading water.

Of course, in hindsight, I see I was dealing with, and adjusting to the unknowns and uncertainty of COVID19 early on in my experience of the pandemic. My fatigue after short periods of work was disproportionate to the amount of efforts I was putting in. I quickly realized that I was going to need to find a way out of the sticky molasses that I would descend into with regularity.

I focused on the usual suspects. Doubling down on good nutrition, getting adequate sleep and aerobic exercise, minimizing time spent watching the news or scrolling on social media, and making sure I stayed connected with my loved ones was a big help. But as I started to spend more time at work, I found a new ally.

My work space!

Sometimes we can't see what is right in front of us. We focus on everything but the obvious. I realized that even though I had no control over the virus, or what was required to be done at work, I had absolute control over the space I was working in.  So I made some strategic additions and subtractions to it based on how I wanted to feel, and it became a totally different experience.

These changes were not expensive and did not require much effort. But they were strategic and targeted with the goal of getting more done in my day with less mental, emotional and physical wear. I went even further and determined that I wanted to enjoy my day and feel confident, excited and powerful about reopening my office, and life in general. I share with you what I did to accomplish my goals.

The 3 things you can amplify in your space to heal, boost productivity, inspire creativity and bring you hope.

1) Beauty
Beauty has a healing role in our lives. It softens the harshness of our existence and reminds us of what is possible. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so what works for me may not excite you. But the important thing is to bring into your personal space what ignites your aesthetic senses. It will tend to you in your weary moments and be a balm to salve your worried mind. Don't just stop at your visual sense. Play the music that soothes your soul. Bring in scents that calm and relax you. They all work in unison to  uplift you and bring you joy. That results in higher engagement and productivity in your work.

Schedule non negotiable Beauty Breaks every few hours of your day.

2) Efficiency and Ergonomics

Revamping a work space in order to maximize it's efficiency to effortlessly guide you in moments of fatigue and mental blurriness is the key to getting things done without "losing it." Your space's personality may have to stop veering on the "shabby chic" side but assume more of a military precision to serve you during the pandemic. So investing a few hours, a day or few days to rearrange your folders, writing materials, research sources and anything else that you now need to communicate,, into a system that would work for you is worth it. 

Make your systems in your space work for you seamlessly, and at all times.

3) Inspiration

Place reminders around you of life, in it's highest form. Invite these messages to inspire you when you get dejected, tired and discouraged. Quotes, sayings, photographs, books, mementos and treasured things can all do the same thing to our psyche. They make us believe in our strength and resilience. Display tokens of past successes so you can remember how you have persevered and fought adversity before to emerge triumphant. Pictures of your family will motivate you to find ways to overcome obstacles and create new paths to a happy and productive future life. Allow yourself to see things that are yet to come. 

Dream. Imagine. Believe.

It will not be what we cross off from our check lists at work that will bring us success in overcoming the adversity and challenges of the COVID 19 pandemic.We must fundamentally change the way we are used to thinking in order to come out on the top. Change is never easy and it poses even more stress on our bodies and minds in times of uncertainty and loss. 

So how can we move forward to not only survive, but thrive? 

By taking one step at a time.

By taking it one day at a time.

By seeking beauty, demanding efficiency and finding inspiration every day. 

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."

-Henry David Thoreau

As I now work towards reopening my practice, and emerging from the darkness of COVID19, I am not looking for a "New Normal".

Only a Transformation will do!

I hope you feel the same way.

Wishing you a week of beauty, inspiration and hope,

With my love,

Sunita

#selfloveselfcarefirst #selfcare #selflove #workspace #office #space #COVID19 #beauty #efficiency #ergonomics #inspiration #hope #henrydavidthoreau #resilience #overcome #mindfulness #transformation #peonies #flowers #joy #rewinedcandles #fragrance #senses 

A Necessary Act of Self Love Self Care First

Hello,
It's Sunita here.

Let's visit next week.

Love,
Sunita
#selfloveselfcarefirst

I Can't Breathe- Don't Just Sit There Doing Nothing

How many more times must we hear these words before we say "Enough"?

Hello,
It's Sunita here.

I love words. I look up to words. I use words. I play with words. Basically, I worship words.

But words are not, and never, enough to right a wrong. 

It is only actions that will change what we are a part of. All of us. This social unrest is not about a ‘segment of our society’. 

It is about us as a society. 

Not "them", Not "others", Not "someone else."

There are many ways we can all become part of the solution. Today, there are many who are incredibly gifted at mobilizing change in big, powerful, and meaningful ways. I admire them, and am so grateful for their efforts, and abilities to organize the change that must occur so that everyone feels safe and seen in our society. But community organizing may not be what you and I can do. Does that mean we have no way to participate in this change? No. Does that mean we are powerless and voiceless? No. 

We can be significant and influential agents of justice in ways that will add up. Like the drops in an ocean. We can look at our sphere of influence and choose to speak up and actively make decisions that swiftly move the cause of racial equality forward. Every act and word counts. Something as simple as calling up a friend and saying, “I stand with you. You are not alone.” 

And it’s a good idea to let go of the notion that you understand what they go through on a daily basis. That’s insulting and patronizing. How we hire, how we mentor and promote people, how we reach out and encourage someone to aspire to be their best version. How we believe in someone. How we look to understand someone and their journey is a start. 

Asking questions, and then truly listening. All of this matters. 

Start somewhere. Start small. Do whatever you can do. 

But don’t just sit there doing nothing!

It's a matter of our survival. Not only theirs. 

Love,
Sunita

#icantbreathe #socialunrest #racial #MLK #martinlutherkingjunior #dosomething #speakup #love #justice #listen #understand #blacklivesmatter #istandwothyou #blacksisters #blackbrothers 

BID for a KISS When Feeling Overwhelmed, Stuck or Slow in this Pandemic- It Works!

Hello,
It's Sunita here.

As we move into having months, not weeks of living in the time of a pandemic under our belt, we can look back and start to see how it is affecting us.

I have found myself discover a new focus and clarity that was something I had always wished for, and was worked diligently towards. The current crisis seems to have put all my past efforts in a basket, and zapped them into a magic crystal. I carry that crystal of my stripped persona everywhere these days. It allows me to direct my attention and energies to what is most important to me. And it energizes me.

We will need such clarity to survive this serious threat to our lives, and our world. I believe it is not only possible to survive this time, but rise above the challenge of the pandemic, and thrive. And I intend to do my best to transform.

But I have found something that I never really experienced before in the way that I do these days.

I can be going about tacking complex and difficult problems, creatively making plans, and energetically executing them in order to move past the barriers that COVID 19 has strewn in my life. Things will be going swimmingly well. I feel alert and capable. But after a few hours of doing such productive work, I suddenly fall flat. It's like I am a balloon that just lost all its air.

I can't think. I sometimes can't even move. Forget about continuing to be in the zone. I feel depleted. I am overwhelmed. And I feel stuck.

It's as if I have become another person...

It took me a while, but I've found a way to move past this pandemic induced state. I share it here with you with the hope that it will be helpful to you too in such moments.

When I feel stuck, overwhelmed, slow or stressed, I now STOP.

I remember that I must be my own first responder.

I then go back to the basics of conscious breathing.
( I find Thay's guide "How Do I Love Myself?" a very helpful practice for this)

Once I feel deeply connected to my body and my mind, I BID for a KISS.

BID stands for Break It Down.

KISS stands for Keep It Super Simple.

I essentially break down what I am doing into small, bite size chunks. And I simplify my tasks. I reorganize my thoughts to accommodate this shift and resume my day.

And if I'm lucky enough to see my husband close by, I bid for his kiss as well. It always makes me feel better!

Be patient and kind with yourself. We are all facing enormous challenges, both physically and mentally. We are coping with the pressures of uncertainty and having to come up with new ways to live and work. That is daunting and is requiring a tremendous amount of energy. No wonder we feel stuck and overwhelmed. It's natural to feel that way under such circumstances. But there are ways to get unglued from that inertia. I hope you will consider a BID for a KISS at such times. It really works!

With my best to you for an unglued week,
Love,
Sunita

#selfloveselfcarefirst #stuck #breakitdown #keepitsupersimple #covid19tips #selfcare #selflove #gustavklimt #thekiss #vienna #austria

Softness. Flexibility. Adaptability. Fluidity- A Prophetic Ask of Mine at The Start of 2020- Who Knew How Much We Would Need Them Today

Hello,
It's Sunita here.

When I wrote my first blog of the year on January 5th, 2020 I asked the universe to grace me with the state of being fluid so I could be more present in my life.

Little did I know how much flexibility would be needed just to survive in the new, scary and uncertain times of the COVID-19 pandemic. Everything has changed since I wrote that article just a few months ago..

We are now slowly grasping the reality of our new world, and what it will take to emerge physically, and mentally in good health from this dark time. A combination therapy like necessary approach of social distancing, screening for symptoms of COVID-19, wearing masks and frequent hand washing has us reeling.

Within weeks, how we work, play and live has undergone severe, and previously unimaginable changes. The new patterns are extremely restrictive, and socially isolating. Financial worries, additional responsibilities at home, and forced separation from our loved ones have added to the stress of the possibility of catching the virus, and getting sick. Even worse, we understand the ease with which we could unknowingly infect those whom we dearly love.

So how can one not only survive this turbulence, but thrive?

The answer lies in my wishes at the start of 2020. Looking back, they seem incredibly prophetic and critically essential for the times we face today. I firmly believe, they hold the key to helping us rise above the tyranny and heartlessness of COVID-19.

So I share them with you again, in the hopes, that they will spark in you a resilience that is marked by softness, flexibility, adaptability and fluidity.

There is hope and life beyond this virus. I intend to fight to be there to embrace it.

I hope you will too!
Stay Home, Stay Safe, Stay Well,
Love,
Sunita

Happy New Year to you and yours!

I have started the year on a note of great optimism and excitement. Like many of you, I relish this opportunity to re-imagine and reset my life. In my home and my work place, the last few weeks have been all about cleaning, organizing, discarding the unnecessary and simplifying my environment so I can focus on what is important to me in a more efficient way. This cleansing also helps me be more joyful as it is designed to facilitate my Heart Bliss's.

But when I think deeply about the coming year and the years still to come, I am left with a prayer for only one thing. And it has nothing to do with my passions, my purpose, my goals or even my intentions. But it is the source of what I now know is the key to Being. Without it, I am not present. Nor am I truly living.

Softness. Flexibility. Adaptability. Fluidity. 

I believe that we receive what we are searching for, when we seek it with all our heart and soul. In life, a Master appears when we are ready for the lesson. This poem is such a master.

HARDNESS

Living people

are soft and tender.

Corpses are hard and stiff.

The ten thousand things,

the living grass, the trees,

are soft, pliant.

Dead, they're dry and brittle.

So hardness and stiffness

go with death;

tenderness, softness,

go with life.

And the hard sword fails,

the stiff tree's felled.

The hard and great go under.

The soft and weak stay up.

These words from the Tao Te Ching are thought to be over 2500 years old. They are believed to be written by a man named Lao Tzu who may have been a contemporary of Confucius. This poem is from Ursula Le Guin's version of the Tao Te Ching and speaks to my searching soul. 

In a world of millions of choices and options, it soothes me and guides me to Just Be. I start to flow like a quiet brook in a leafy forest when I read it. It moves me to a place where I am able to sit still and wait for what the Universe has for me. And most importantly, it reminds me that I will be stronger if I go with what is given to me instead of fighting it. With this wisdom, I surrender. In this surrender, I find my strength, discover joy and achieve my goals.

I hope you do too.

With my very best wishes to you for 2020,

With my love,

Sunita

#selfloveselfcarefirst#poetry#taoteching#laotzu#ursulaleguin#wisdom#2020#happynewyear#softness #flexibility #adaptability #fluidity #resilience