My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Wednesday, January 26, 2022

In Thay's honor- "The Only Thing Worthy of You is Compassion"- A Reminder and "Recommendation" from Thich Nhat Hanh in These Troubled Times


It's Sunita here.

Thich Naht Hanh, at the age of 95 years transitioned onwards from his bodily journey on January 22, 2022.

As millions of others, I have been deeply touched, comforted, and lifted by Thay's writings and teachings. Whenever in turmoil and having turned to him for guidance, I have always experienced an immediate calming of my body and soul. His voice conveys the inner work he did over the duration of his entire life, and his words bring me the wisdom I search for, when lost. 

Even though I have discovered many absolute truths through my lived experiences, and by tapping into my inner voice, and intuition, I have a need to be reminded of them frequently. That's when I know I can rely on Thay's writings, poetry, discourses, and answers. They always ground me and reassure me that by staying connected to myself, all my battles will be won. 

His kindness, wisdom, and many years of practiced mindfulness led him to a state of grace so deep and illuminating, that it was impossible for me to hang on to my fears and anxiousness when I listened to him. 

One of my favorite ways of practicing the basic tenant of Self Love Self Care First is to hear Thay explain it in this video, How Do I Love Myself? His answer is a great example of how he could take immensely complex and complicated ideas and conceptualize them for us in simple ways. 

"I am a continuation, like the rain is a continuation of the cloud."
                                                  Thich Nhat Hahn 

I end by reposting my blog of June 20, 2020 in honor of Thay. 

With love, and an awareness that we are all one,

Until next time,



 We are travelling in times of great difficulty and pain. I once again, turn to poetry for comfort and guidance. Since there is so much original content out there right now by incredibly talented and compassionate people, I feel there is no need for me to add to it.

So, instead today, I share with you a poem by Thich Nhat Hanh that takes me to a place of mercy as I try to move away from anger, frustration and feelings of helplessness in the face of the gigantic problems we face in our world.


Promise me,
promise me this day,
promise now,
while the sun is overhead
exactly at the zenith,
promise me:
Even as they
strike you down
with a mountain of hatred and violence:
even as they step on you and crush you
remember brother, remember.
man is not our enemy.
The only thing worthy of you is compassion-
invincible, limitless, unconditional.
Hatred will never let you face
the beast in man.
One day, when you face this beast alone with your courage intact, your eyes kind,
(even as no one sees them),
out of your smile
will bloom a flower.
And those who love you
will behold you
across ten thousand worlds of birth and dying.
Alone again,
I will go on with bent head,
knowing that love has become eternal.
On the long, rough road
the sun and moon will continue to shine.

Wishing you a week full of invincible, limitless and unconditional compassion,

#selfloveselfcarefirst #poetry #thichnhathanh #thay #recommendation #alone again #compassion #love #mercy #courage #selflove #selfcare #mindfulness #meditation #eternal #smile #eternal #connected #we are one #interconnected

Photograph credit- "Thay Walking" by Paul Davis

Friday, January 21, 2022

Joy is Often Within Our Grasp- We Just Don't See It


It's Sunita here.

Weekend. Gorgeousness. Dark Chocolate. Delight.

As much as the world may seem limitless, and infinite opportunities to extend ourselves be apparent, we are usually satiated with much less than we are led to believe we need.

The truly precious people in our lives are but a few. The experiences that move us the deepest are very often very simple in nature. It’s just a matter of recognizing that fact and being present to those moments.

As humans, we will always crave excitement, adventure, and variety. All those are necessary for us to grow. But, if we took the time to do an inventory of the lasting joys of our life, we may likely only see a small circle of light. It is within these bonds and boundaries that we feel at home. It is through shared experiences with these individuals and groups- physical, mental, and emotional, that we are grounded, and feel connected to ourselves, and to those whom we are in relationship with.

Thinking about these people, and reliving past experiences, and/ or even anticipating and planning future experiences together produces a positive and calming effect on us, in addition to flooding us with comfort, and feelings of deep attachment.

It was the celebration of one such person in my life, duly noted with this dark chocolate cake recently, that has anchored me as I start 2022. I was thrilled to see my daughter Simrin take over the role of family baker that day. This gorgeous dark chocolate cake was her creation. It tasted just as great as it looks. The vintage tea cup candle seen here was made by my older daughter Nina. These deeply personal contributions by them added so much to the occasion and my experience of it.

Passing on our best and healthiest selves onto the next generation is especially sweet when you have worked very hard to overcome trauma. It was a very powerful motivation for me to overcome the impact of my childhood trauma, and gave purpose, beyond wanting my own suffering to end, to do the difficult, but essential work of healing.

Happy weekend to you all. I hope you find your world shrink to a tiny patch of sheer joy, memorable celebrations, delight, and peace!

Until next time,


#SLSCF #selfloveselfcarefirst #birthday celebration #chocolate cake #dark chocolate #it’s that simple #love #attachment #joy #delights

Monday, January 17, 2022

Daring to Dream: The Radical Imagination of a New Generation


It's Sunita here.

Daring to Dream: The Radical Imagination of a New Generation

MLK DAY is a day of reflection for us to reimagine reality based on the fact that every human being deserves the same opportunities to live a safe, productive, fulfilling, and happy life with respect and dignity.

A single note is just that- a single note.

A single ingredient is just that- a single ingredient. But when we bake, we bring different and multiple ingredients of a recipe together which creates a sweet delight!

Society is no different. 

Celebration of Diversity brings us to the sweet spot of progress and harmony. Everything we do has a better response and result when we work together. We all have contributions to make and must have the freedom and encouragement to do so.

These cookies I make are called ‘Warm Hugs’. They have oatmeal and cinnamon. Raisins of 3 kinds, and cranberries. Dried figs and apricots. Brown sugar and granulated sugar. Butter. Baking powder. Salt. All purpose flour.

If I skip any one ingredient, they don’t taste as good. And even though the amount of baking soda is minuscule compared to the oatmeal in this recipe, it’s impact on the result is massive. Basically, the cookies will flop if I miss the baking soda.

As people, we must acknowledge that although we look or seem different, we are all part of one recipe. And that recipe is simply one of all of us being human.
I have a dream.- Martin Luther King

Until next time,  

With the wish that your conversation revolves around love,

Because what else is there to talk about?


For those of you who may want to make a Warm Hug, here is the recipe. 

1/2 pound butter (2 sticks) (at room temperature)

3/4 cup light brown sugar

1/3 cup granulated sugar

2 eggs (at room temperature)

1 tablespoon vanilla

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

3 cups old fashioned Oats

1 1/2 cups raisins and diced dry fruits of your choice

Heat your oven to 350 degrees F. Beat together the butter and sugars till creamy, and then add the eggs and vanilla. Beat well. Add the combined, and preferably sifted flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. Mix well. Stir in oats, raisins, and dried fruits. Mix well. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto greased cookie sheet. Bake about 10-12 minutes until golden brown. Cool for 1 minute on cookie sheet. Then remove to further cool on a wire rack.

This recipe has been personalized a bit by me to my tastes, but appears on inside of the Quaker Oats container in it's original form. The photo of Dr. Martin Luther King is from an unknown source to me. If someone knows who the photographer is, I would love to learn more and give credit to them by name.

#MLK day #dream #unity #equality #diversity #fair society #humanity #compassion #kindness #oatmeal cookies #warm hugs #happy weekend #baking