My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Monday, August 29, 2022

Are you Stuck? Then Look Into The Abyss


It's Sunita here.


Why is it so hard to dismantle the myths and stories that shroud our reality?

Because it's extremely painful. And maybe, we are afraid that we may not recognize ourselves after we strip the narrative of our life away.

This terror is real.

But the anxiety and depression that results in pushing away the truth that we know exists inside us is excruciatingly painful. It isolates us. It pushes us into dark places of unending despair.

Being in this dark place leads us to behave in ways that are not aligned with who we are. The amount of energy it takes to live our lies is enormous. It keeps us stuck. It makes us choose to live as someone way less than we are. 

Addictions. Relationship issues. Self sabotage. And much more damage...

I can understand how frightening it is to walk towards wellness and truth. I was there for a long time. I did not know what to do. I tried many things. But ultimately, I found no other way to be free but to look into the dark abyss that was the suffering of my life.

I could not have done it without professional help. 

I would urge you to seek experienced professionals to help you too. 

But no one can help you unless you are restless for change. 

There is no therapist, friend, relative, pastor, or for that matter, human being that can change our lives. They can only inspire us to do the work. They can only be along side us like a sherpa, while we climb the mountain of our truth. The heavy lifting has to come from us.

The desire to live a life of courage, fulfilment, and truth springs from inside us. Whether we listen to that voice, or not, is entirely our choice.

What choose you?

Until next time, 

Moving onwards,


#SLSCF #The Way Back Home #self love self care first #self love #reality #therapy # mental health #wellness # ISTDP #dynamic psychotherapy #davanloo #abyss #courage #trauma #you are worth it #hope #light #love #compassion

Sunday, August 28, 2022

What is Beauty?


It's Sunita here.

We respond to experiences through all of our senses. Often times, it may be hard for us to put into words how we have been moved. Anything that changes me at that level is what I consider to be beautiful.

Beautiful. Appealing. Esthetic. Moving. Transforming.

Whenever possible, it is to our advantage to be creative, and elevate the daily and ordinary of life to experiences of beauty that stay with us.

Beauty is The Divine. 


The only way we can create, perceive, experience, and appreciate Beauty is by paying Attention.


The Divine lives in our Attention.


We exist in our Attention.


Our Attention is the Divine.


Attention is Beauty.


The Divine is Beauty.


Stay open to beauty!

Until next time,
Moving forwards,

#SLSCF #selfloveselfcarefirst #The Way Back Home #beauty #attention #divine #create #creativity #mindful #mindfulness #elevate #stay open #moving forwards #you are worth it

Wednesday, August 3, 2022

Enough Already! A Push Back to Ultimate Performance Talk with a Shout Out to Something Way More Important



It's Sunita here.

I've had it with ultimate performance talk. 

While I do not dispute the fact that we all must do the work to become the best version of ourselves, and I admit to devoting most of my waking moments, and even the time I spend sleeping (sleep and its relationship to our consciousness is still a long way from being understood) in service of that aspiration, I find the conversation about 'Ultimate Performance' now dominating our airwaves in an extremely unhealthy way. 

So, I am pushing back on all ultimate performance talk.

Simplicity. Quiet. Just be. Self acceptance. As is. As we are at this very moment.

We are enough, without the actions of being productive every waking second of our day.

We have tremendous worth, without having to aim for ‘ultimate performance’ every day.

Finding acceptance of ourselves as the flawed entities that we are, with our inherent limitations, requires much more courage, than going out there and performing external feats of ‘ultimate performance’.

Finding the courage to get up every day, and do something to better ourselves a little more, despite the weakness we feel inside, is a million times more brave than optimizing our day.

Surrendering our arrogance of 'performing optimally’ might be a good thing for us.

Optimal performance, just like perfection, is a cruel myth we are encouraged to chase. We can lose ourselves in the process of chasing that myth.

Finding grace for ourselves is the more important piece here.

Turning to the splendor and humility of nature to learn from, and be inspired by, is a gift that is always available to us.

Stay open.
Move forwards.
Be kind to your self.
That is ultimate performance.

Until next time,


Photo credit- Tim

#SLSCF #self love self care first  #lily pad #grace #simplicity #humility #self care #nature #inspiration #ultimate performance #self compassion #kindness