My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

Hello,
I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?


I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.

Sunita

Tuesday, June 22, 2021

When You Dance Just For Yourself


Hello,

It's Sunita here.

This water lily was picked for me as an offering of love this weekend. It was quietly lighting the world on fire with it’s magnificent beauty, hidden, and tucked away in a corner of a lake, where one could only spot it through their seeing eyes.

If it had not been transported for me to delight in its perfection, it would have been just as beautiful in its anonymity, and unknown existence, in its natural habitat, away from human eyes.

Such an existence is what I work towards.

To live in my beauty. In my glory. In my uniqueness. In immersion with all that is divine within me. Tucked away. Happy in the simplicity of the knowledge that I see myself with love, admiration, and appreciation for all the magnificence I possess. No need for validation. No desire for approval. No want for any external confirmation of my gifts.

I want solid ground to stand on, and want to stand up straight, with my full presence!

Anything less is an affront to my maker.

Only when we befriend the so called harshness of our circumstances and environment do we rise above them.

They were put there to challenge us.

Will we break? Will we fall? Of course! We will be close to being annihilated. We will think we can no longer fight. We will constantly be obsessed with giving up.

But if we do, the game is over.

At this point, only if we surrender to our magnificent selves and say, 

I finally accept you, I will fight for you, I will revere you. 

do we get a shot at truly living, and being present.

When we are able to sing our song full blast on the stage that is within us, without caring for, or wanting an audience beyond ourselves, we liberate ourselves.

It is only then that we begin to pursue what we are here for. We accept our assignment in this special space, and then spend the rest of our lives toiling in service of it.

I hope you see your uniqueness, and decide to dance for yourself! 

Until next time,
With love,
Sunita

#selfloveselfcarefirst #self love #self care #do your dance


Monday, June 14, 2021

'The Radiance That Lies in My Dispossession'- Carl Gustav Jung and My Muse- My Unconscious.


 

Hello,

It's Sunita here.

Carl Gustav Jung, (born July 26, 1875, Kesswil, Switzerland—died June 6, 1961, K├╝snacht), Swiss psychologist and psychiatrist who founded analytic psychology famously stated,

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.

My recovery from attachment and childhood trauma involved access to the history of my trauma buried deep in my unconscious. It was Davanloo's Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy that helped me gain this access, and heal from the effects of my trauma. 

In the uncovering of my unconscious, I also got reconnected to my creative self. As I continually unmask the drive and motivations of my unconscious, I get more and more connected to my mystic muse in the universe. That is how I 'receive' my poetry. I am very slowly starting to comprehend the creative process by which I write my poetry. 

Today, I would like to share this poem with you. It is from my recently started 5th collection called, "The Radiance That Lies in My Dispossession'. The title came to me in a dream vision, and I feel it to be prophetic and a promise of the discoveries to come in the poems that will emerge.

 'Laden Sky" is #5 in the collection. The picture above is from the spot where I sat by my muse, a lake, as these emotions and words came to me. They were accompanied by an intense feeling of being connected to someone who was in pain. I don't know who that was. But I trust my feelings and intuition enough now to confidently know there was someone reaching out to me. 

This poem is for you. This poem is actually for all of us. We are all connected. Always. In our struggles. In our pain. In our joys. And in our triumphs.


LADEN SKY

Do you ever feel the sky dipping down to weep with you in remembrance of all your sorrows and heartache?

I do.

Especially when it is pregnant with celestial moisture.

That is when I am embraced by its cool and wet arms, as my tears lie unshed just beneath my lashes.

Sometimes when I have nothing obvious to be sad about, but am surrounded by silent, grief stricken whispers.

I wonder who is sighing.

I can feel you.

I am sending you much love.

The sky will comfort us both.

Sunita Merriman
June 11, 2021
5:30 pm


Until next time,
Sunita

#selfloveselfcarefirst #carljung #unconscious #muse #universe #poetry # radiance #sky #connection #love #grief #childhood trauma #attachment #attachment trauma #davanloo #ISTDP #recovery #healing #wellness #thrive #consciousness #connection


Friday, June 11, 2021

A Year From Now...


Hello,

It's Sunita here.

A year from now what will you wish you had done today?

If only we stop and ask ourselves this question every day,

We often hesitate to pull the trigger on an action that in our heart we know we must take for us to succeed and be happy. We are stuck in situations that are just not healthy. 

We are in relationships that have been consistently sapping our spirit with their drama of destructiveness. We allow other people to bring their negativity into our lives. We keep going back to a job that is way below our intellectual capabilities and so far out of the realm of our interests. We promise ourselves we will stop binging on sugar/alcohol/____/____/ (fill in the blanks here) tomorrow, but that tomorrow never really comes. We sit on the couch instead of going for a walk. 

We keep accepting way less than we should for ourselves. 

Why? It could be a variety of reasons we tell ourselves, or very possibly believe to be the truth.

I don't have the time right now.

I will get to it _____________.

If I leave her now, this will happen _____________.

I will sign up for the gym membership in January when it goes on sale (it could be March right now, so that's almost a year away...)

Therapy is so expensive. I'll save up first.

Therapy doesn't work for people with problems like mine.

I need to do everything I can to have my __________ feel better before I can focus on myself.

He's not so bad to live with on most days.

I'm no peach either. (Yes, sadly, I've heard someone who was in a horribly abusive relationship say this)

This job pays the bills. I can live out my dream later.

I will start saving when I make more money.

But it tastes so good going down.

I'll exercise tomorrow.

I'll start visiting museums/painting/dancing/_______ when my kids are older

It's not the right time.

I don't have the time right now.


The excuses or reasons we give ourselves to continue our state of inertia usually have some truth to them. That is why they are so persuasive. But, in those truths also lie our dysfunctional belief systems. 

It is our fear of failure and not knowing for sure if we will succeed, by making changes, that gets in our way of taking the actions that we must,  in order to succeed. It's a negative loopy loop.


In addition, we make the mistake of thinking we must accomplish our goals in one day. That overwhelms us. It effectively cripples us from moving forward to take the first step of our journey. This paralysis then gets covered up in the junk we tell ourselves to cover up the hurt, disappointment, and shame we feel, when we betray our highest being by staying in situations that are so far inferior and less than what we deserve.




I think of this wise saying as pushing us to get rid of anything that is bothersome in our life, and causing us harm. Anything that is undermining us, as opposed to serving us, must be dropped. And all the good things that we have put off must be brought into our life.

We must start somewhere and at some time. And that some time is today!

It’s hard to find the courage to make difficult decisions since nothing is ever black and white. But we must find the wisdom to see need for change and growth. And many a times, it will take severe, and drastic changes to be respectful of ourselves, and our journey.

So, when in doubt, ask yourself,

‘A year from now what will you have wished you had done today?’

Regrets are hard to reconcile with so this wise question certainly illuminates the path for me. I hope it does for you as well!

Until next time,

With my love,

Sunita

#selfloveselfcarefirst #self love #self care #action #getting unstuck #first step #do something #start small #start today