Self Love. Self Care. Inspiration
My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.
It’s Sunita here.
Saturday, May 1, 2021
Princeton's Public Library's Local Author Day 2021: Dr. Sunita Merriman reading "Stripping: My Fight to Find Me"
Saturday, April 24, 2021
Saturday, April 17, 2021
It's Sunita here.
After I was treated for the symptoms and the results of my ACEs and complex childhood trauma, my mind was available to me.I found my inherent, and innate spiritual and emotional spaciousness.
That gave me a freedom that I had been incapable of experiencing, but unconsciously always knew that I possessed. A calmness set in and guided me towards an awareness that is often called meditation. That decreased my anxious and adaptive habit of being in many places in my mind, just to avoid the pain, aloneness, shame, darkness, and despair of my childhood.
I used to feel the urge to go to these many places just so I could escape what was going on inside my mind, brain, heart, and soul. I would feel so fragmented and distracted by this survival tactic.
With an unwavering commitment to the practice of focusing on developing an awareness of my now liberated mind, giving it an intentional direction, and having control, I am able to stay in my chosen places in a deep and meaningful way.
And when I can’t, ( which is often- the mind is not something that likes to be tamed. And our habitual patterns of thinking help it to remain elusive to us) it is looked at by me as part of the process. I just continue focusing on observing my intrusive or incidental thoughts, and eventually they pass, leaving me to come back to my meditative state.
It is from this place of peaceful solitude that I am able to Just Be.
It is from this stationary, but hugely dynamic place that I now love, experience, learn, dream, imagine, and create.
If you have suffered from ACEs, trauma, depression, anxiety, mental illness or mental injury, there is treatment for you.
If you are overwhelmed and stressed, there is a better way to live.
But the desire to be better and live as a whole you must come from deep within you.
I hope you will say YES to YOU!
#selfloveselfcarefirst #ACEs #aces #mind #mentalhealth #davanloo #ISTDP #intensive short term dynamic therapy #childhoodtrauma #depression #anxiety #hope #meditation #mindfulness #peace #calm #creative #poetry #poet #love #selflove #selflovejourney #self-compassion
Tuesday, April 6, 2021
It's Sunita here.
Waking up and being grateful for the miracle of my body sometimes takes a little work. It is so easy for me to focus on all that I perceive as ‘not good’, ‘needs to be better’, ‘will be better when I ...’ instead of celebrating the fact that I am served so well and earnestly by this amazing home to my soul and mind as it is, right now.
If you fight the same battle, I encourage you to find acceptance of your body exactly the way it is right now. That is the only way I have found the love and healthy motivation to work on things that can enhance its efficiency and form.
Being grateful and gracefully accepting where we are right now does not mean that we must not strive for improvement. It is just a different mindset from wanting to change things because we cannot stand who we are right now. I discuss the way I planned to lose the Quarantine 15 last year. I have stuck to the plan I outlined in that article.
The times when I took a break from following this plan were not occasions for me to berate myself, nor did I look at those times as failures. Rather than my old way of processing events, such occasions were seen by me as opportunities to enjoy life in a way that was free from guilt.
Setting unachievable, unrealistic, and inflexible goals are one more way of punishing ourselves. I refuse to play that game anymore.
If I eat well, move, and sleep enough, I am happy with myself. And in my opinion, what is life without a few indulgences thrown in? Such breaks from my daily routine actually fuel me to work out with more enthusiasm the next day.
Self Love Self Care First® flows best when it’s not another ‘chore’ in our long list of to do’s. It must be a labor of love and devotion in celebration of the miracle that we all are.
I hope you will be gentle with yourself too.
After all, you is all you got. And you are a divine miracle!
With my love,
*If you have enjoyed this post, please do not forget to share it, and follow www.selfloveselfcarefirst.com- Thank you! *
#selfloveselfcarefirst #morning thoughts #love your body #love yourself #be gentle with you #acceptance #divine you
Sunday, April 4, 2021
It's Sunita here.As we all delight in the various forms of Spring celebrations around the world, and amongst many cultures, my very best to you, and whoever you call your ‘family’!
We are all feeling the burden of COVID in so many shared, and individual ways, so can use this time of season change towards more light, and hope at this moment.
But eventually, every season can bring us hope if we use our mind to help us navigate the dark times. It is our mind's eye that gives us perspective and direction in tough times.
The external world, in it’s glory does help us, as do our families.
#selfloveselfcarefirst #refresh #family #rejoice #hope #happy Easter #spring #celebrate #passover #baisakhi #all spring celebrations #we are one #mind’seye #innerworld
Tuesday, March 23, 2021
It's Sunita here.
For the past 25 years, I have driven by this tree at least once a week. I have seen it so many times that it became invisible to me.
Until this morning.
The sight of it, bent and broken, wrapped around the pole, and fearlessly intertwined with the surging electric wires brought me to tears. Such an act of courage, vulnerability, and faith!
It's as if this tree said to the pole,
I trust you will not hurt me, so I will wrap around you, and give you everything I have in this world. Even though I am now bare and naked, having lost all my leaves and supple branches to this winter, I will offer you what I have left. I love you and will not shy away from telling you that. I am all in with you.
I kept wondering why this sight had moved me so much. What did it bring to the surface of my consciousness? Why did I feel such intense emotions?
What do you see in this picture?
A wide open road that is waiting to take you anywhere you want to go? Or a dried up tree, broken and bent, wrapped around a wire surging with electricity, that can destroy it at any time?
The sun rising, and inviting you to stop dreaming, and make your dreams come true? Or a dreary day again, amongst many others in this pandemic, that have limited you from doing what you think you should have or could have done?
A famous Henry Ford quote,
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right.”
What you see in this early morning picture is a direct manifestation of your attitude. What is it going to be?
I see myself becoming someone better than I am right now by the end of this day. I see a few laughs coming my way. I see connecting with people I care about. I see perhaps meeting someone new to me. I see a few problems to be solved. I see a few surprises popping up. I see learning some new things. I see some frustrations over things I will have no control over.
But overall, I see possibilities.
I realize that I had a surge of emotions when I 'saw' the tree this morning because it reminded me that for so long, I was a broken, bent, and denuded tree that was too scared to be vulnerable, and take a chance on life.
But now, I am like the tree that boldly wraps itself around electric poles, offering myself to fate. I am no longer limited by my fear of rejection, or failure. I boldly follow my dreams, and do everything I possibly can to turn them into realities.
I love seeing my efforts bring me success. But I do not make that a condition of my happiness. I have learnt that to be happy is a choice. And more importantly, to be happy is not the end goal anyway.
My victory is in getting up every time I am beaten down by my circumstances. My prize is finding the courage to get back on the open road once again.
So I always look for the rising sun to guide me there. I am all in. Just like my friend, the inspiring tree.
I hope you will be too.
Until next time,
With my love,
Sunday, March 21, 2021
- Don’t second guess yourself, and just say what’s in your heart.
- Offer to listen to them and don't take it personally if they don't talk to you about their feelings at first. Just be patient. They will, when they are ready.
- Spend time with them.
- Make them feel like they matter, and that you are there for them.
- Encourage them to talk about their feelings of sadness, confusion and loss.
- Help them look towards the future in a positive way.
- Try your best to be consistent with your efforts and companionship.
Tell them how brave they are to feel their pain- and that they will be ok!
Photograph of Prince Harry credit- BEN STANSALL / AFP/Getty Images
Sunday, March 14, 2021
"If I love myself, I love you.
If I love you, I love myself"
The practice of Self Love Self Care First at times must be all about nurturing ourselves, by excluding everyone else from our space (mental, physical, or both) with the purpose of recharging, and regrouping with, and within ourselves.
The other component of loving, as a practice of Self Love Self Care First is of extending ourselves in an outward way to embrace others. Caring about them, and being loved by them in return boosts our wellness systems, and provides us with the connection we need to survive and thrive.