My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Saturday, December 10, 2022

John W. Gardner and The Flight of The Accomplished Fugitive


It's Sunita here.

Whenever I encounter someone new who excites me, I feel a bittersweet pang.

On one hand there is the thrill of experiencing resonance, validation, or a brand new discovery in their work. (I hope that feeling never goes away for me.) But on the other hand, there is a profound sadness that comes with realizing I spent so many years not learning from their work.

John W. Gardner is one such person. 

How I came about his book, 'Self Renewal- The Individual and The Innovative Society' is a story for another time, but for now, I would like to introduce you to him by sharing the following passage from his book with you.

 "We can keep ourselves so busy, fill our lives with so many diversions, stuff our heads with so much knowledge, involve ourselves with so many people and cover so much ground that we never have time to probe the fearful and wonderful world within. More often than not we don't want to live with ourselves. By middle life most of us are accomplished fugitives from ourselves."

This book is a wise companion for anyone who is on a journey of self discovery, self renewal, and self actualization.

Keep questioning.

Keep thinking.

Keep figuring out your inner world.

Relate what you learn about, and from your inner world to your outer world and your relationships.

Know that your relationships are your outer and inner world.

Making sense of the chaos we live in, internally and externally, and being in a position to be able to create some meaning, and something meaningful in our lives in my experience does not happen any other way.


The  place we must go to to do all this figuring out.

Are you an accomplished fugitive from yourself? 

If so, then you have some housekeeping to do before you get to solitude.

Until next time,
Moving forwards,

#TWBH #SLSCF #selfloveselfcarefirst #self renewal #John W Gardner #George Herbert #Poet #writer #Thinker #Stanford University #Mentorship #Mentors #Psychology #Self Actualization #Progress #Solitude #Inner World

Friday, November 18, 2022

Suffered a Loss Lately? Practicing SLSCF can Help You Regain Your Confidence


It's Sunita here.

Have you had a loss or failure recently?

None of us enjoy the pain of loss, defeat, rejection, or failure. Nor should we aim to.

But we can learn to reframe what they mean to us by appreciating the opportunities they bring.

SLSCF (Self Love Self Care First) is a practice that helps us do just that.

So, if we are hurting from a loss, we should know that is perfectly natural. But, there is a golden opportunity for us in that pain.

SLSCF brings us to a space that is compassionate to us while we breakdown a situation that did not turn out the way we had hoped for. 

It is not a weak stance, but a wise one.

Until next time,

Moving forwards,


#SLSCF #selfloveselfcarefirst #self compassion #self love #self care #growth #insights #reframing #resilience #learning #growing #practice #do the work #reflection #equanimity #opportunity #loving kindness #patience #humility #wisdom

Monday, October 24, 2022

Bob Dylan Plays to an Empty Room


It's Sunita here.

Playing to an empty room.

In the absence of the courage to create, just for the sake of creating, can we really create anything of lasting value?


Until next time,

Moving forwards,


#TWBH #creativity #creating #for myself #the one that matters #BDC #tulsa #oklahoma #Bob Dylan #poets #poetry #songwriter #performer

Tuesday, September 27, 2022

TWBH, The Way Back Home- Indelible Ink for Eternal Truths


It's Sunita here.


Our core.
Our essence.

We experience the world, and every single moment of our life, only, from this place.

No one else knows what it looks like, or feels like. Only we do. No one else gets to experience our inner world. It is the place where we are truly alone.

But it has become a place for many of us where we are lonely, and in pain. So, we abandon it, thereby abandoning ourselves.

That is understandable. Because, who, in their right mind wants to suffer?

But, what we must understand is that we will never regain our freedom, peace or connection to ourselves, and others, by exiting or ignoring our inner world.

We will instead, put ourselves in a never ending state of exile.

There is only one way back home.

The Way Back Home is inwards.

We must find love and compassion for ourselves there. We must reconnect with our inner lives. We must find the infinite beauty that lies within us. We must reclaim the love that resides in us. 

We must become love. 
We must understand that we were created to be enough. 

Enough in every state of being.
Enough at every stage of life.

We are precious.
We are divine.


Thank you, Dan, for your exquisite artistry, and our many conversations.

Until next time,
Moving forwards,

#TWBH #SLSCF #poetry #poet #self love self care first #self love #self care #self compassion #always enough #i am love #be love #inner life #inwards #loneliness #alone #joy #beauty #tattoos #permanent #always #forever #inked #ink #art #artist

Thursday, September 15, 2022

A Necessary Paradigm Shift for Our Survival -The Time Has Come!

It's Sunita here.

Accepting our whole self.

Respecting our  whole self.

Seeing our brokenness.

Embracing the darkness within us.

Realizing that we are perfect, just the way we are. 
At this very moment. Without further improvements or changes.

Accepting ourselves wholly at all times.

Loving our whole self.

Celebrating the light and darkness within us, and outside of us, for what opportunities they offer.

Becoming more every day, by pushing ourselves past who we are today, from a place of self acceptance and self love.

That is the journey we are meant to be on.

The pressure to be ‘perfect’ and high achieving in our society is brutal. It comes often, with a huge price tag. 
We must learn that self disgust, self hatred, greed, competition with others, and someone else's expectations do not have to fuel us to do more, and become more.

Becoming better every day, by pushing ourselves past who we are today, from a place of self acceptance and self love is a holistic and sustainable practice of joy.
We must come to understand, and believe that we can accept, and love ourselves, for who we are, at this very moment, and still, be restless for growth and change.

Instead of feeling we are not enough, it is more compassionate and productive to know that we are more than who we are today.


We can be on a journey of self improvement and meaningful achievement as a statement of the value, we believe to rest in our potential.

Moving forward from a place of, and through the practice of SLSCF, Self Love Self Care First is TWBH, The Way Back Home.

Something to think about!

Until next time, 
Moving Forwards,

#TWBH #SLSCF #self acceptance #self love #self care #the whole you #sustainable growth #motivation #self compassion #forever learning #always growing #warts and all

Monday, September 5, 2022

Oliver Sacks Gratitude Helps Me Get Back to My Light


It's Sunita here.

'Gratitude' by Oliver Sacks.

Dr. Oliver Sacks expresses his gratitude in this book, for a life well lived.

His, was a life of unending curiosity about this universe, and all that it contains, a life spent on seeking meaning, giving back in multiple ways, understanding himself and others, and sharing his brilliance, and rich gifts, through his generous living, and of course his prolific writings.

 I read this short quote of Dr. Sacks often (but I feel, not often enough).

I read it especially when I am feeling disillusioned, blue, unfulfilled, bored, entitled, sorry for myself, stuck, unmotivated, and envious of others. I ask myself at such times,

 Am I behaving like a

Sentient being?

A thinking animal?

Am I aware of my great fortune of getting to live on this beautiful planet?

Am I paying attention to the beauty that surrounds me?

Which part of this great adventure am I rejecting right now?

What illusions and desires are making me dismiss this enormous privilege?

It’s a mind and heart opening exercise, that always starts out as being uncomfortable for me.

But when I’m honest with myself, it gets me back on track to being connected with the infinite beauty, and abundant opportunities, that lie just beyond my bubble of self- created suffering.

I realize then, that I have unique gifts to discover within me. I must get on with the fortunate business of living, and seeking beauty on this amazing planet.

And most importantly, I must work on sharing my gifts with others. That's a privilege that we all are given. It's up to us to accept it gracefully.

Until next time, 

Moving forwards,


(Photo credit: A portrait of Sacks taken by Bill Hayes titled Back Home, March 2015)

 #Oliver Sacks # oliversacksdoc # oliversacksfdn #gratitude by oliver sacks #gratitude #SLSCF #The Way Back Home #self love self care first

Monday, August 29, 2022

Are you Stuck? Then Look Into The Abyss


It's Sunita here.


Why is it so hard to dismantle the myths and stories that shroud our reality?

Because it's extremely painful. And maybe, we are afraid that we may not recognize ourselves after we strip the narrative of our life away.

This terror is real.

But the anxiety and depression that results in pushing away the truth that we know exists inside us is excruciatingly painful. It isolates us. It pushes us into dark places of unending despair.

Being in this dark place leads us to behave in ways that are not aligned with who we are. The amount of energy it takes to live our lies is enormous. It keeps us stuck. It makes us choose to live as someone way less than we are. 

Addictions. Relationship issues. Self sabotage. And much more damage...

I can understand how frightening it is to walk towards wellness and truth. I was there for a long time. I did not know what to do. I tried many things. But ultimately, I found no other way to be free but to look into the dark abyss that was the suffering of my life.

I could not have done it without professional help. 

I would urge you to seek experienced professionals to help you too. 

But no one can help you unless you are restless for change. 

There is no therapist, friend, relative, pastor, or for that matter, human being that can change our lives. They can only inspire us to do the work. They can only be along side us like a sherpa, while we climb the mountain of our truth. The heavy lifting has to come from us.

The desire to live a life of courage, fulfilment, and truth springs from inside us. Whether we listen to that voice, or not, is entirely our choice.

What choose you?

Until next time, 

Moving onwards,


#SLSCF #The Way Back Home #self love self care first #self love #reality #therapy # mental health #wellness # ISTDP #dynamic psychotherapy #davanloo #abyss #courage #trauma #you are worth it #hope #light #love #compassion