My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Sunday, April 12, 2020

Why You Must Be Your Own First Responder During the COVID -19 Pandemic

It's Sunita here.

Here in New Jersey where I live, like many other parts of the US, and around the world, we have been under 'Stay Home' orders since mid March, with no concrete end date in sight. The COVID-19 pandemic has taken over our lives.

We may desperately want to be the person who can become superwoman or superman in response to the Coronavirus pandemic but we cannot, if we don't take care of ourselves first. And right now there are many barriers that we all face to practicing Self Love Self Care First.

The desire to help and do something is deep and genuine. Adrenaline surges will allow us to fight by becoming larger than life, and taking actions to assist in this very trying time. This can go on for a while, but in the end it will burn us out.

The shut down and necessary modifications in our work patterns and social systems have jolted us out of our familiar rhythms. That can take us down a rabbit hole. And this meandering never leads to a good place.

Worry about our jobs, families, colleagues, staff, finances and our future weigh heavily on us. The uncertainty of how our lives will be after this pandemic can quickly become an overwhelming preoccupation of our minds. A never ending loop of ruminations can lead to mental fatigue and depression.

If we do not mindfully nourish, rest and replenish ourselves, we will crash.

Our immune systems are already on overload in response to the change and challenges of this difficult time. Physical and mental exhaustion, and stress will further deplete our health and result in decreased productivity, poor decision making, relationship problems, anxiety and even serious illness.

For trauma survivors and those who suffer from mental illness, social distancing and isolation can also open the door to past and present demons that haunt us. We must slow down and focus on our hard earned freedom from mental illness, depression, addictions and anxiety. Our work to be healthy, whole and free must remain our top priority.

So what can we do to be the superheroes we want to be right now?

How can we help during this unprecedented time in our history?

By making sure our bodies and minds are well rested, calm, serene and ready for high level performance.

For that to happen, we must take care of ourselves first. We must love ourselves to be able to care for ourselves in a loving, compassionate and kind way.

By loving ourselves first, we stock up on love and have enough to share and spread to others. Humans have always needed love, but now, the world desperately need it.

We can only love others by loving ourselves first.

" Everything needs food to live, even love. If we don't know how to nurture our love, it withers. When we feed and support our own happiness, we are nourishing our ability to love. That's why to love means to learn the art of nourishing our happiness". says Thich Nhat Hanh in How to Love.

Where can you begin?

How can you love yourself. Once again, I have found Thay's answer to be one of the most clear, simple, and practical ways to understand how to start loving ourselves. It has been illuminating for me. So I share it with you.

Leonardo Da Vinci's drawing of the human body

Breathe in.
Go home to your body.
Breathe mindfully.
Your body is a wonder.

I urge you to take 15 minutes to learn how to do that by watching How Do I Love Myself. You will become your own first responder by doing what Thay teaches in this short video. And that will enable you to be a superhero for others.

Connecting deeply to yourself, and loving yourself is Step 1 of being able to be of use to someone else. I hope you will join me next time to learn some simple, but very effective ways to cultivate calm, peace, direction, energy, purpose, acceptance and most importantly, hope during this pandemic.

In the meantime, stay in, stay safe and be well!
Wishing you much self love,


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