My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Friday, October 26, 2018

Your struggle is not your identity- or is it?

It's Sunita here.

Unfortunately, none of us are exempt from the challenges of daily life and the trials and tribulations of being human. Some of us get more than our fair share of obstacles thrown our way. We have no control over the circumstances that we inherit, nor do we control most of the life events that come our way.

So how do you think about your journey. What words come to mind when you picture your life?

That is important for you to know because it has a huge impact on your thoughts. And your thoughts are directing your actions. Especially your unconscious ones.

If the word struggle comes up a lot, then you may want to examine that. Have the difficulties and challenges you face become synonymous with a struggle

If so, then it is time to find different words to describe your response to whatever is happening in your life. 

That will make all the difference.

How do I know? 

Because for a large part of my life, I associated my journey with the word struggle. And those of you who have read my book Stripping, My Fight to Find Me know that I had every reason to feel that way. Adverse childhood experiences and trans-generational trauma caused toxic stress, depression, anxiety and whole bunch of other issues for me. 

But until I used the word fight, I was a victim. 

And victims can't take control of their life. Neither can they find the strength that they possess within themselves. They are looking for others to fix them. And that is impossible because only we can fix ourselves. 

Often times with others helping us. But we must be the ones desiring to make things better for ourselves. We must seek help from the right people and we must actively work for and direct our recovery.

So, you see, using the word struggle is not going to be of any use to you when you think of your life.

How does Fight sound instead?

Sending you my very best to you for a powerful week,

Be well Do well Live well,

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Hello, My name is Sunita


My name is Sunita.

I am a writer, a wife, a mother, a doctor, a friend, a family member, and a survivor of developmental trauma.

My aspirations for this blog are to touch others and inspire them to design their life in a way that fulfills their potential, brings them meaning and makes the world a more loving place.

Through my journey and ferocious battle to unmask, understand and defeat the darkness that was the legacy of trauma from adverse childhood experiences, ACE’s and trans-generational wounds, I discovered that Self Love Self Care First was the only way for me to live a life of joy and fulfill my potential.

Loving myself first allowed me to begin to live an authentic, truthful and powerful life. It led me to find meaning and deep purpose. It gave me clarity of mind and spirit. It made me be a more present mother and wife and deepened my connection to everyone in my life.

I had many barriers to loving myself due to many reasons, but mostly due to the brain damage I suffered.

I quickly learnt that I wasn’t alone in having a very hard time putting myself first.

There are millions of us. 

I also found out, that without doing so, I was a shadow of who I was capable of being and frankly, of no use to anyone else.

I look forward to visiting with you on Friday afternoons with Self Love Self Care First as the common thread of what we talk about. 

I hope you will join me.

I wish you the most sacred of all loves, self- love.
Because you are worth it, you deserve it and you are entitled to it.

With my best,

Friday, October 19, 2018

About the Author

In addition to being a poet, Dr. Sunita Merriman is a graduate of New York University, College of Dentistry, and a Diplomate of the American Board of Dental Sleep Medicine and the American Board of Craniofacial Sleep Medicine. She is the founder of the New Jersey Dental Sleep Medicine Center in Westfield, New Jersey and for over 25 years, has been dedicated to treating her patients with the belief that their mind, body and soul are connected.

Stripping- My fight to find Me is her first collection of poetry to be published. She is currently completing her second and third books, Permission- For Me to Fall in Love and Freedom- For Me to Just Be. Like her poetry in Stripping, they too translate the language and spirit of the unconscious.

These three collections of poetry will be offered as a “A Trilogy of Love”- A Story of Healing, Reclaiming and Awakening.

Sunita credits ISTDP, Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy for treating the damage she suffered due to attachment, childhood and complex trauma. She is indebted to Dr. Habib Davanloo, who developed ISTDP, for not only his lifelong dedication to understanding, and teaching others how the human unconscious can be successfully, and predictably accessed for therapeutic relief but also for the generosity with which he offered his thoughts and insight about her poems in “Stripping".

Sunita is actively engaged in sharing her personal and professional insights of how ACEs and mental health impacts sleep and overall wellness with her colleagues in the medical community. Her goal is to promote trauma informed, interdisciplinary, and integrative care for patients that respects the mind-body connection.

In her journey back from darkness Sunita discovered that Self Love Self Care First® is the only way for us to fully realize our potential, live joyfully and serve others. It is her intention to share this powerful, and empowering discovery with others, and start a movement of Self Love Self Care First® She is a passionate advocate of those who suffer from ACE’s and mental illness and dedicated to promoting her belief in the infinite potential of the human spirit.

Sunita has been married to her husband Tim for 25 years and they are the parents of two wonderful daughters, Nina and Simrin. She lives in New Jersey, USA but is also a proud Canadian of Panjabi (Indian) descent.

Creating new realities, and expanding consciousness through poetry. 
Highlighting our relationships, connection, and sleep as the foundation of wellness and optimal living. Passionately advocating for those who suffer from ACEs and mental illness. 
Promoting Self Love Self Care First®