My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Wednesday, May 17, 2023

The Best Top 10 Life Hacks List


It's Sunita here.

The Way Back Home.

Do the Right Work.

Do your Work!

Comparing yourselves to others will not help you.

Trying to find your salvation in the advice someone else gives you is futile.

Trying to gleam life through a 'Top 10 Life Hack Tip' list of a celebrity guru is nonsense.

We have to walk on our own path to find our truth.

It is who we become on that journey that gives us the 'hacks' we long for.

But they are not hacks.

They are garlands made of insights, wisdom, failures, lessons, wounds, glory, empowerment, confidence, swag, and experiences that we have earned on our way back home.

No one can offer those to us.

Only we can.

What someone else can give us are markers to look for on that journey.

Those who are in the position to offer us such valuable information will do so with utmost humility and grace and with the disclaimer that they know very little.

Because they are busy in their own quest and know that we all know nothing so must try to make meaning out of what we experience.

So, do the right work. Do your own work.

Until next time,
Moving forwards,

#TWBH #The Way Back Home #uniquely yours #do the right work #do your own work #do the work #humility #grace #mental health #growth #thriving #healing

Saturday, May 6, 2023

How You Can Offer Support to a Grieving Loved One if You Don't Know What to Say


It's Sunita here.

We often struggle with what to say to someone who has experienced the death of a loved one.

A very dear friend of mine recently lost his partner of 30 years to cancer. My initial reaction to the news was a whoosh of so many emotions.

Initially they threatened to overcome my thinking brain that wanted to console him. I took a deep breath and sat down to experience my feelings with an open heart. I understood they were there to help me move forward in an authentic way.

I also knew that my reaction to his loss came with my grief for him and sadness for own my life losses.

I know how much death hurts so felt deep empathy for him.

I tried to think what would I need to hear if I was him at that time. These words came to mind.

So, I timidly and humbly offered them to him with this private prayer-

"Please God, don't let them be the wrong words."

They weren't.

He kept saying the words to himself throughout the next few demanding and heartbreaking days of the wake and funeral when things threatened to take him down.

When his son felt physically overwhelmed with the intensity of his grief on losing his mom my friend shared them with him too.

These words became their mantra.

These words strengthened them.

These words gave them permission to be weak, broken and sad while remembering they are strong, majestic and amazing.

These words are now my mantra too.

Maybe I wrote them because I needed to hear them?

If you have someone who needs to hear this affirmation, I hope you will share it.

We all often forget that,
We are strong and weak
We are sad and can laugh
We are broken and majestic
We are amazing!

This Permission gives us Freedom.

Embracing the complexities of the human experience and the tough but beautiful business of being human is what thriving is all about.

Moving forwards,

#TWBH #The Way Back Home #SLSCF #we are amazing #grief #affirmations #showing up #death #cancer #thriving #healing #the healing process #mental health #depression #anxiety #anxiety awareness

Friday, May 5, 2023

Why We Must Treat Society as a Patient of Attachment and Childhood Trauma


It's Sunita here.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are now commonly talked about in our society. But I feel that there is more progress to be made in how we approach these conversations.

We are often sick but don't always know that. 

We can't recognize our own impairment. 

We will, in my opinion have to treat society as the patient because I don't see a sweeping transformation happening to reduce the occurrence, severity and widespread nature of this trauma. 

Instead, I believe we will need incremental changes to our understanding of the origin of this trauma that will lead to systemic healing. 

Otherwise we will continue to have a dialog in which there is only a perpetrator-victim narrative. 

I am not at all suggesting that adults should not be accountable for causing harm to children (in most cases it's their own offspring who they harm.) But I believe we need to look beyond a generation, two or more to understand how someone came to be a 'perpetrator'.

As a culture we must become more capable of making the difficult choice of talking about trauma in a way that is honest, compassionate and transformational.

Then we must continue to find and devote the resources for the systemic changes we need to make to stop this blight of our times from taking us down as a society.

How does one narrate attachment trauma and ACEs from the inside out?

This what I think of in my waking and non waking hours.

Until next time,

Moving forwards,


Photo above- My first day of grade 1- Lethbridge, Alberta

#attachment trauma #childhood trauma #transgenerational trauma #suffering #neuroplasticity #healing #conversation #mental health #thriving #healing #ISTDP #dynamic psychotherapy #unconscious