My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Thursday, March 24, 2022

Trauma to Transcendence?


It's Sunita here.

Trauma and Transcendence may not seem like two words that belong in the same sentence, but they do.

The human mind and heart have an enormous capacity to heal, and find their way to a path that leads to a luminous existence.

But we must do the work to get on to that path.

Once we are on that path, it further requires a different kind of work to stay true to this path towards enlightenment.

There are many distractions and traps along the way. In addition to the external factors that can easily derail our efforts to transcend, we have to deal with our inherent biology of being, which is not usually in line with our highest being.

So, what is one to do?

Go inward.

There is no other way. There is no ‘hack to transcendence’. There is no short cut. And, it is a life long process to get there, and stay there.

But, it is the ultimate, iron man/woman jam of living as a human.

The Mind-Body connection is a powerful aid to calm our inner world. Once still, we discover our true selves, the source of our unique creativity, gifts, and talents, and create meaning out of our life experiences.

Trauma is now being understood in ways that have never been understood before. This is helping scientists, medical and mental health professionals, individuals with lived experiences of trauma, policy makers, and their friends and families to consider new options of treating trauma. This will lead to easing the burden of the suffering that trauma causes, and ultimately a better society.

We are also in the midst of exciting developments in the fields of biology, neuroscience, and psychology (among other interconnected fields of study) which are uncovering the path to human transcendence.

Trauma to Transcendence?
A resounding yes!

But, you have to Do The Work.


Consider picking up Scott Barry Kaufman's book ‘Transcendence’ and checking out his work.

Until next time,


#SLSCF #selfloveselfcarefirst #scott barry kaufman #transcendence #trauma #neuroscience #healing #wellness #self-discovery #inner world #do the work #hacks

Photo- Sunita Merriman

Thursday, March 3, 2022

Omari Porter- 'I Love You'

"At what point are we going to come together as a society and remove the stigma around mental health? Innocent lives are lost everyday leaving thousands of loved ones negatively affected. We must learn to prioritize our mental health and physical well-being. Text someone you love
Tell them you love them. Many of our family members and friends struggle day in and day out, but are afraid to speak up because of how they might be viewed after the fact. IT DOES NOT MATTER! If you need to cry…then cry. If you need to scream, then scream.
I don’t care how tough you think you are, but it’s time to put down the fa├žade and let someone know you aren’t okay. If you’re doing okay, well help someone. It’s time for us to let go of the negative judgement towards and make sure the people in our lives are okay.
If you think you have no one..well… I LOVE YOU. I’m here for anyone who needs to talk or needs somebody to listen. As a society we gotta do better!"

Scholar Athlete
Stanford University

It's Sunita here.


At what point will we wake up as a society and unveil our common suffering? We are failing our youth. We are suffering ourselves. We are not leading the way.

It will take many more courageous people with big hearts, like Omari, to speak up. We must all do something, until mental illness, emotional anguish, and the debilitating effects it has on us, often for a life time, if undisclosed, and untreated, is looked at, as the human experience that it is.

I applaud this young man. I pray for him. And all those who are trying their hardest to bring about the change, this is so desperately needed in our society.

Love. Understanding. Compassion. Grace.


And we must start by doing better for ourselves. Because that is the only way we can be there for others in a way that is full of love, understanding, and strength.

I love you!

Until next time,

#SLSCF #Omari Porter #Stanford University #scholar athlete #football #stanford football #selfloveselfcarefirst #mental health #depression #anxiety #facades #mental illness #speak up #tell someone #ask for help #i love you