My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Sunday, October 31, 2021



It's Sunita here.


What are you working towards?
What are you frightened of
What have you put on ‘hold’ because the time isn’t right?
Worse still, what is it that you don’t even dare to dream about?

The people you look up to for accomplishing what you envy and admire are no different then you. The only difference is that they made a habit of listening to what their inner voice was telling them. And then they took action.


Despite failing. Repeatedly failing. Failure did not deter them. 

They brought into existence something that was meaningful to them. They became the person they always knew they were. They created something magnificent and concrete from just a feeling or an idea. Their obstacles did not deter them from moving forward in the realization of their dream.

Those who did not think they could pull it off were often their loved ones, who gave them ‘advice’ or ‘cautioned them’ about the odds. All well meaning on the surface, but maybe this discouragement and desire to sabotage was born in the deepest part of their unconscious?

You see, when you start to live your truth, you become a source of inspiration and example for others who yearn to do so too, but also become a painful reminder of unfulfilled living to those who have been ignoring their own inner voice. In the pain that arises from the act of discrediting and rejecting themselves, these individuals turn to you and dismantle your confidence and energy by telling you your dreams are impossible to achieve. 

They cite all kinds of research and use cautionary wisdom to deter you from dreaming as an unconscious attempt to alleviate their disappointment in themselves. 
Misery loves company and they see you as a deserter so they do all they can to keep you in that dismal place.

Your journey starts only when you believe in yourself.

To believe in yourself, you have to know yourself.

To know yourself, you have to spend time with yourself.

To spend time with yourself, you have to say no to all the distractions and time and energy wasters that suck up your day from you.

You have to accept yourself.

You have to love yourself.

Your journey starts then!

She believed she could.
So she did.

I believe I can.
So I do.

I hope you do too.❤️🌈
With my encouragement for you to go for your dreams,

Sunday, October 24, 2021



It's Sunita here.

With whom can you sit in silence and stillness? With whom does physical distance and elapsed time have no impact on your experience of connection with them?

If you do not have the capacity to be still and silent, in peace with your inner self, then this kind of synchrony maybe difficult with another.

Synchrony. When silence between two humans carries on a conversation for them. No words are necessary because their hearts, minds, and souls are in tune with each other.

Self Love Self Care First is the starting point of sharing ourselves with others. 

First we must come to know ourselves, and our truth. 
Only then can we offer something genuine, and honest of ourselves to others.

Once we can do that, we discover synchrony with another, and experience a connection so deep and powerful, that time and distance is not a barrier.

It starts with us.

Everything we need is within us.

Self discovery.
Self love.

Until next time,
With my hope that you feel connected to yourself,

Thursday, October 21, 2021

Senses and Memories


It's Sunita here.


Apple picking, hay rides, spooky movies, love that feels unearthed, and earthy.

These apples were picked by a friend. The experience of apple picking was his.

That he chose to share it with me through this gift of apples, brings warmth to my heart.

The organic nature of his joy of experiencing that day, with those whom he loves, who were with him, seeped into these apples, and came right into my home, through the open doors that welcomed their luscious gorgeousness.

Once in my kitchen, these apples basked in their splendid beauty on my counter for while. I could smell whiff’s of their orchard’s fresh air come through, as I would pass by them, working on my routine chores. Once I had feasted my eyes enough, I decided it was time for their beauty to be transformed.

I made apple sauce.

The simmering pot of aromatic, spice filled goodness brought more waves of autumnal delight to our home.

Many fall memories of my life that are intimately associated with apples, orchards, and the crisp end of summer breezes came flooding through my mind.

Cinnamon and sugar.

Promises of rejuvenation and renewal, after the announcement that fall brings, of the upcoming hibernation months of winter.


Until next time,


#selfloveselfcarefirst #fall #apples #experiential #orchards #apple picking #apple sauce #memories #heart #love

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Stay Open, My Heart


It's Sunita here.

Stay Open, My Heart
Look Towards Hope and Love


I have been hearing this mantra over and over again in my mind these days. More so, than I usually do. I have learnt how living open to what I truly feel leads me to freedom and peace. And I know why.

Because there are so many trespassers on our tenderness, we often close up our hearts and shut down our vulnerability from doing any business. However normal and intuitive that may feel when we are hurt, it only leads to loneliness, within, and, beyond the boundaries of our being.

To protect our heart health, we must grow our heart from deep inside, by knowing, accepting, and loving ourselves.

We can do that better when we are silent and calm. That is the state, where we not only contemplate our existence, but are able to make some sense out of it.

Our feelings can get hurt because someone else did us wrong. But, we can also hurt because we take our past experience of being hurt everywhere, and that casts shadows on our experience of others.

Our deepest and most healing relationships are with those, who can recognize when they hurt us, and, can also sincerely appreciate, without judging us, or getting angry at us, when we feel hurt by them, on occasions when they did not trespass on our heart.

These are the individuals who respond to your hurt by saying this,

“You are hurt. That makes me sad.
Let’s figure out why this happened. Let me listen to your hurt heart.
Let’s find a place within us, that is deeper than where we stand today.
Let me listen to understand what your heart is asking for.
I know there is a need in there that wants to express itself.
If I was not there for you, I will learn to be there in ways I can, and you desire and need me to be.
If I was present, but you still felt I was not there for you, I will try to express my presence in a way that you feel it more.
Either way, we are in this together.”

 Such friends or relationships take your hurt heart personally, and do not start defending themselves, justifying their actions, and listing all the things they do for you, when you express your disappointment to them. For them, your hurt is their hurt. And it goes without saying, their hurt must be your hurt. It is the reciprocity of open hearts that creates such intimate bonds, that make life worth living.

Look towards Hope and Love.

Until next time, 
With my love,

Sunday, October 10, 2021

James Baldwin and Our Cover Ups


It's Sunita here.

Cover ups.

How much of yourself do you reveal to others as you go about your day?

Are you constantly gauging what someone else wants you to say?

Do you give others the version of you, that you have carefully assessed them, to want to see, however far from the truth of you, that version may be?

Do you even know the true version of you?

Such complicated, and sad realities, are part and parcel of our society’s demands on us. And these requirements, and socially sanctioned protocols, are not new. Tragically, they are passed down, by generation after generation of individuals, who bought into the tyranny of the mindless majority.

Finding one’s self is never going to be easy. It never has been. We have to travel in the opposite direction of almost everyone else to decipher what our heart tells us.

We must know ourselves to trust ourselves.

This hard earned knowing must be so strong, and unshakable, that it constantly and successfully serves to keeps us true to ourselves, despite the ugly demands of society ‘norms’, and emotionally, poverty driven, cultural ‘coolness’ of our times.

The most important dimension of Self Love Self Care First is to find, have, and maintain, the sovereignty to think for ourselves.

Our thoughts are critically important. They are what drive our uniqueness, and give us the trust to be ourselves. When our thoughts are hijacked, given to us, or forced upon us by others, we are no longer free.

James Baldwin was not only ahead of his time, but remains ahead, of even ours. If you read his recently republished essay “Nothing Personal”, I guarantee, it will change your life. For the better- If you want to live your truth, and as a free individual.

Until next time,
With my best,

#selfloveselfcarefirst #James Baldwin #Nothing Personal #writer #poet #thinker #freedom #equality #sovereignity #thinking 

(Photo credit- 1985 Los Angeles Times via AP)