My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

Hello,
I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?


I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.

Sunita

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Stay Open, My Heart

 


Hello,
It's Sunita here.

Stay Open, My Heart
Look Towards Hope and Love

 

I have been hearing this mantra over and over again in my mind these days. More so, than I usually do. I have learnt how living open to what I truly feel leads me to freedom and peace. And I know why.

Because there are so many trespassers on our tenderness, we often close up our hearts and shut down our vulnerability from doing any business. However normal and intuitive that may feel when we are hurt, it only leads to loneliness, within, and, beyond the boundaries of our being.

To protect our heart health, we must grow our heart from deep inside, by knowing, accepting, and loving ourselves.

We can do that better when we are silent and calm. That is the state, where we not only contemplate our existence, but are able to make some sense out of it.

Our feelings can get hurt because someone else did us wrong. But, we can also hurt because we take our past experience of being hurt everywhere, and that casts shadows on our experience of others.

Our deepest and most healing relationships are with those, who can recognize when they hurt us, and, can also sincerely appreciate, without judging us, or getting angry at us, when we feel hurt by them, on occasions when they did not trespass on our heart.

These are the individuals who respond to your hurt by saying this,

“You are hurt. That makes me sad.
Let’s figure out why this happened. Let me listen to your hurt heart.
Let’s find a place within us, that is deeper than where we stand today.
Let me listen to understand what your heart is asking for.
I know there is a need in there that wants to express itself.
If I was not there for you, I will learn to be there in ways I can, and you desire and need me to be.
If I was present, but you still felt I was not there for you, I will try to express my presence in a way that you feel it more.
Either way, we are in this together.”

 Such friends or relationships take your hurt heart personally, and do not start defending themselves, justifying their actions, and listing all the things they do for you, when you express your disappointment to them. For them, your hurt is their hurt. And it goes without saying, their hurt must be your hurt. It is the reciprocity of open hearts that creates such intimate bonds, that make life worth living.

Look towards Hope and Love.

Until next time, 
With my love,

Sunday, October 10, 2021

James Baldwin and Our Cover Ups


Hello,

It's Sunita here.

Cover ups.

How much of yourself do you reveal to others as you go about your day?

Are you constantly gauging what someone else wants you to say?

Do you give others the version of you, that you have carefully assessed them, to want to see, however far from the truth of you, that version may be?

Do you even know the true version of you?




Such complicated, and sad realities, are part and parcel of our society’s demands on us. And these requirements, and socially sanctioned protocols, are not new. Tragically, they are passed down, by generation after generation of individuals, who bought into the tyranny of the mindless majority.

Finding one’s self is never going to be easy. It never has been. We have to travel in the opposite direction of almost everyone else to decipher what our heart tells us.

We must know ourselves to trust ourselves.

This hard earned knowing must be so strong, and unshakable, that it constantly and successfully serves to keeps us true to ourselves, despite the ugly demands of society ‘norms’, and emotionally, poverty driven, cultural ‘coolness’ of our times.

The most important dimension of Self Love Self Care First is to find, have, and maintain, the sovereignty to think for ourselves.

Our thoughts are critically important. They are what drive our uniqueness, and give us the trust to be ourselves. When our thoughts are hijacked, given to us, or forced upon us by others, we are no longer free.

James Baldwin was not only ahead of his time, but remains ahead, of even ours. If you read his recently republished essay “Nothing Personal”, I guarantee, it will change your life. For the better- If you want to live your truth, and as a free individual.

Until next time,
With my best,
Sunita

#selfloveselfcarefirst #James Baldwin #Nothing Personal #writer #poet #thinker #freedom #equality #sovereignity #thinking 

(Photo credit- 1985 Los Angeles Times via AP)