This is The Most Effective and Sustainable Place to Succeed From

Hello,

It's Sunita here,

Growth from a place of self love is more powerful and long lasting than from a feeling of inadequacy and self hatred.

I believe that with all my being.

I also believe that science will find a way to quantify this truth in the future.

But I'm not waiting for that to happen.

The time for Self Love Self Care First is now.

Self love is not indulgent or selfish.

The practice of SLSCF is necessary for us to be able to connect to the deepest parts of our humanity and to be empowered to make the contributions that we must in order to ensure the survival of our species.

Plus, SLSCF is a kinder, gentler way to be in this world.

More to come on The Practice of SLSCF if you stay tuned here. I hope you will.

Be kind to yourself and hold yourself to the highest level of SLSCF accountability.

Build your capacity for self compassion and mercy.

Learn and grow from that place.

Until next time,

Moving forwards,

Sunita

#TWBH #SLSCF #The Way Back Home #Self love #self care #accountability #self compassion #integrity #honesty #practice #growth #learn #neuroscience #science #soul #spirit #mind body #mind body soul #mindfulness #meditation

How to Get our Journey Right is Not Complicated- Here's the The Simple Truth

 Hello,

It's Sunita here.

Every towering tree was a tiny sapling first.

Every journey started with someone taking the first step.

Every expert started as a novice.

Every dream was an unconscious thought at first.

Every dream that got realized took many steps in order to bring it to life. And it was certainly not a linear journey. 

Start small.

But start!

You will get there one day!

Just keep moving forward. One step at a time. Taking it one day at a time.

Play the long game to win.

Moving forwards,

Sunita

#TWBH #The Way Back Home #onestepatatime #onedayatatime #persistence #do the work #do your work #courage #long game #success #growth # #personalgrowthjourney

The Way Back Home From Trauma to Transcendence

Hello,

It's Sunita here.

Relationships are everything.

I can't say that a day passes without me reading, seeing or hearing something that causes me to feel that I am behind the ball in bringing my poetry, 'An Anthology, The Way Back Home' to those who may be helped by my work and insights.

But then I think of the hoped for future reader and quickly remember that trauma takes away our agency and dignity. Why would I want to add to that by pushing out TWBH before it is humbly ready to offer it's very best form to them?

I also know how important it is to actively seek people who can help me bring the best manifestation of all 4 forms (The Poetry, Process, Practice and Provisions) of TWBH to those who we aspire to serve.

So, my focus is to look hard for those collaborators.

This is not a wish list.

This is an actual list in no specific order.

And I want it all!

They care about what they do and for whom they do it.
They are supremely talented.
They are not afraid to be humble and vulnerable.
They are confident and delight in their superpowers and talents.
They are curious.
They are fun and like to have fun.
They are madly gifted and creative.
They are kind.
They are thoughtful, insightful and full.
They are generous.
They do not cut corners.
They do not worry about pleasing everyone but obsess over making it right for the important ones.
They are honest, bold and define integrity.

I want to work with you so I can become better and bring TWBH to our broken world.

TWBH- From Trauma to Transcendence.

Yes, it is possible. For you.

Moving forwards,

Sunita

#TWBH #The Way Back Home #Partnerships #relationship #relationships are everything #poetry #trauma #transcendence

Trauma and The Edge

Hello,

It's Sunita here.

The Edge.

The Way Back Home can be treacherous for many of us.

If you feel despair, please ask for help.

Help is available

Speak with someone today.

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish

If you feel sad and confused, call a friend or family member.

Whatever you are feeling now will pass but if you don’t seek help, it may not seem that way.

A common belief we adopt when we are depressed and anxious is that no one out there cares about us.

That’s a lie.

Another fib depression tells us is that there is no help available to us or even worse, that we are beyond help.

A sneaky lie.

Don’t believe it.

Find a soft harbor to rest in. 

Like this green wall full of leafy life. 

It stands ready to shelter you from the harshness of the concrete sidewalk that runs past it.

Look up. 

Look towards light and life. 

It’s right there waiting for you.

💚

Moving forwards,

Sunita

#TWBH #The Way Back Home #SLSCF Self Love Self Care First #help #get help #help is available #call 988 #you matter #depression #anxiety #professional help #seek #mental health #healing #thriving #friends #family #love #ISTDP #Davanloo #dynamic psychotherapy #therapy #therapist #intensive short term dynamic psychotherapy #you are worth it #trauma #trauma healing #self care #self love

The Best Top 10 Life Hacks List

Hello,

It's Sunita here.

The Way Back Home.

Do the Right Work.

Do your Work!

Comparing yourselves to others will not help you.

Trying to find your salvation in the advice someone else gives you is futile.

Trying to gleam life through a 'Top 10 Life Hack Tip' list of a celebrity guru is nonsense.

We have to walk on our own path to find our truth.

It is who we become on that journey that gives us the 'hacks' we long for.

But they are not hacks.

They are garlands made of insights, wisdom, failures, lessons, wounds, glory, empowerment, confidence, swag, and experiences that we have earned on our way back home.

No one can offer those to us.

Only we can.

What someone else can give us are markers to look for on that journey.

Those who are in the position to offer us such valuable information will do so with utmost humility and grace and with the disclaimer that they know very little.

Because they are busy in their own quest and know that we all know nothing so must try to make meaning out of what we experience.

So, do the right work. Do your own work.

Until next time,

Moving forwards,

Sunita

#TWBH #The Way Back Home #uniquely yours #do the right work #do your own work #do the work #humility #grace #mental health #growth #thriving #healing

How You Can Offer Support to a Grieving Loved One if You Don't Know What to Say

Hello,

It's Sunita here.

We often struggle with what to say to someone who has experienced the death of a loved one.

A very dear friend of mine recently lost his partner of 30 years to cancer. My initial reaction to the news was a whoosh of so many emotions.

Initially they threatened to overcome my thinking brain that wanted to console him. I took a deep breath and sat down to experience my feelings with an open heart. I understood they were there to help me move forward in an authentic way.

I also knew that my reaction to his loss came with my grief for him and sadness for own my life losses.

I know how much death hurts so felt deep empathy for him.

I tried to think what would I need to hear if I was him at that time. These words came to mind.

So, I timidly and humbly offered them to him with this private prayer-

"Please God, don't let them be the wrong words."

They weren't.

He kept saying the words to himself throughout the next few demanding and heartbreaking days of the wake and funeral when things threatened to take him down.

When his son felt physically overwhelmed with the intensity of his grief on losing his mom my friend shared them with him too.

These words became their mantra.

These words strengthened them.

These words gave them permission to be weak, broken and sad while remembering they are strong, majestic and amazing.

These words are now my mantra too.

Maybe I wrote them because I needed to hear them?

If you have someone who needs to hear this affirmation, I hope you will share it.

We all often forget that,
We are strong and weak
We are sad and can laugh
We are broken and majestic
We are amazing!

This Permission gives us Freedom.

Embracing the complexities of the human experience and the tough but beautiful business of being human is what thriving is all about.

Moving forwards,

Sunita

#TWBH #The Way Back Home #SLSCF #we are amazing #grief #affirmations #showing up #death #cancer #thriving #healing #the healing process #mental health #depression #anxiety #anxiety awareness

Why We Must Treat Society as a Patient of Attachment and Childhood Trauma

 Hello,

It's Sunita here.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are now commonly talked about in our society. But I feel that there is more progress to be made in how we approach these conversations.

We are often sick but don't always know that. 

We can't recognize our own impairment. 

We will, in my opinion have to treat society as the patient because I don't see a sweeping transformation happening to reduce the occurrence, severity and widespread nature of this trauma. 

Instead, I believe we will need incremental changes to our understanding of the origin of this trauma that will lead to systemic healing. 

Otherwise we will continue to have a dialog in which there is only a perpetrator-victim narrative. 

I am not at all suggesting that adults should not be accountable for causing harm to children (in most cases it's their own offspring who they harm.) But I believe we need to look beyond a generation, two or more to understand how someone came to be a 'perpetrator'.

As a culture we must become more capable of making the difficult choice of talking about trauma in a way that is honest, compassionate and transformational.

Then we must continue to find and devote the resources for the systemic changes we need to make to stop this blight of our times from taking us down as a society.

How does one narrate attachment trauma and ACEs from the inside out?

This what I think of in my waking and non waking hours.

Until next time,

Moving forwards,

Sunita

Photo above- My first day of grade 1- Lethbridge, Alberta

#attachment trauma #childhood trauma #transgenerational trauma #suffering #neuroplasticity #healing #conversation #mental health #thriving #healing #ISTDP #dynamic psychotherapy #unconscious

A Life Saving Practice

Hello,

It's Sunita.

It has taken me many, many years to learn to love myself. I finally now treat myself in a way that is gentle, kind, forgiving, and with delight and a celebratory affection.

But only with practice have I been able to cultivate an unconditional regard for who I am.

Playing it safe was never my game. I have always been pushing to be, achieve, and accomplish things.
Sadly, I was pursuing all the wrong things for me. And I was doing a pretty good job of it.

I felt exhausted carrying the load of impersonating someone I did not relate to. Tthat’s how far off I was.

Eventually my soul cried out for help.

It took a tremendous amount of effort (which is ongoing) to turn the sinking Titanic that was my inner life around. For me, Davanloo’s Intensive Short Term Dynamic Therapy (D-ISTDP) was what connected me to my unconscious and helped me access my before trauma self.

On my way back from the world of despair, depression and darkness, I learnt that Self Love Self Care First is the only way I can stay true to myself, care for others, and actualize myself joyfully.

You may think- she’s all about herself.

That’s exactly the opposite of the WHY of SLSCF. More on that later. 

On the contrary, with SLSCF I’ve become deeply connected to myself and to those whom I love and have produced my best work in service of others so far.

The sway, imprints, expectations and pressures from society, family, trans generational trauma, a single incident of violence/trauma, our culture, our inner conflicts, our deep need to be accepted as part of a group, our personality- and so many more complex factors contribute to us becoming someone who we are not.

This can also manipulate us to pursue dreams ‘assigned’ to us, leaving us feeling_________. 

You can fill in the blanks here for yourself.

We end up not loving ourselves in the backdrop of all the shrieking voices of others that we hear. They that tell us who we ‘should’ be, how we ‘should’ act, what we ‘should’ look like, what we ‘should’ be doing for them, and a million other ways to ignore our true selves.

Self Love Self Care First is a Life Saving Practice.

Here’s to loving ourselves and the journey that gets us there.

Moving forwards,

Sunita

#TWBH # The Way Back Home #SLSCF #self love self care first #self love #self care #trauma #ACEs #depression #healing #ISTDP #Davanloo #mental health #wellness #thrive #Practice