My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Thursday, April 20, 2023

A Life Saving Practice

It's Sunita.

It has taken me many, many years to learn to love myself. I finally now treat myself in a way that is gentle, kind, forgiving, and with delight and a celebratory affection.

But only with practice have I been able to cultivate an unconditional regard for who I am.

Playing it safe was never my game. I have always been pushing to be, achieve, and accomplish things.
Sadly, I was pursuing all the wrong things for me. And I was doing a pretty good job of it.

I felt exhausted carrying the load of impersonating someone I did not relate to. Tthat’s how far off I was.

Eventually my soul cried out for help.

It took a tremendous amount of effort (which is ongoing) to turn the sinking Titanic that was my inner life around. For me, Davanloo’s Intensive Short Term Dynamic Therapy (D-ISTDP) was what connected me to my unconscious and helped me access my before trauma self.

On my way back from the world of despair, depression and darkness, I learnt that Self Love Self Care First is the only way I can stay true to myself, care for others, and actualize myself joyfully.

You may think- she’s all about herself.

That’s exactly the opposite of the WHY of SLSCF. More on that later. 

On the contrary, with SLSCF I’ve become deeply connected to myself and to those whom I love and have produced my best work in service of others so far.

The sway, imprints, expectations and pressures from society, family, trans generational trauma, a single incident of violence/trauma, our culture, our inner conflicts, our deep need to be accepted as part of a group, our personality- and so many more complex factors contribute to us becoming someone who we are not.

This can also manipulate us to pursue dreams ‘assigned’ to us, leaving us feeling_________. 
You can fill in the blanks here for yourself.

We end up not loving ourselves in the backdrop of all the shrieking voices of others that we hear. They that tell us who we ‘should’ be, how we ‘should’ act, what we ‘should’ look like, what we ‘should’ be doing for them, and a million other ways to ignore our true selves.

Self Love Self Care First is a Life Saving Practice.

Here’s to loving ourselves and the journey that gets us there.

Moving forwards,

#TWBH # The Way Back Home #SLSCF #self love self care first #self love #self care #trauma #ACEs #depression #healing #ISTDP #Davanloo #mental health #wellness #thrive #Practice


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