My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Wednesday, August 4, 2021

C.S.Lewis Shines Light on a Forbidden Emotion With Brutal Honesty and an Uncommon Vulnerability


It's Sunita here,


The forbidden/must be denied/ignored/not acknowledged past a period of short and allowable time, or better still, hurried through emotion, of our culture.

We bumble our way through expressing our sympathies to those who have lost a loved one. Often, as the onlooker of the sufferer of grief we wonder, should I say something? Or maybe I should not mention their loss, as it might bring up their pain.

The writer, C.S.Lewis journaled about his grief on losing his wife to cancer. They had met and married later in life and enjoyed an exceptionally rich, and close relationship. So it would come as no surprise that he felt deep pain on her passing.

‘A Grief Observed’ is a collection of his raw reflections of the experience of grief following her death. His brutal honesty about the sharpness, and numbness of this experience, and exploration of his crushing pain give the reader an entry into a world that is inhabited by one who is deluged with the immediate, then gradually, intermediate nature of grieving and bereavement.

Of course, it is his experience. Which does not extend to, or speak to everyone’s experience of loss, but I found tremendous comfort in his words. The wildness of feeling undeniably, and what at that time, feels irrevocably lost, confused, bewildered, and in actual physical agony on the loss of someone who you feel deeply connected to is natural. He made it bearable by putting it on the pages of four journals, and documenting the trajectory of a process that is circular, a vortex, a straight line, and a wave- all in an unpredictable, but expected pattern, with a regularity that can be banked on.


Grief on losing a person. A family.
 A friendship. A pet. A connection. A belief. A dream. A possibility. A figment of our imagination…


The curse, and privilege, of being human.
Until next time, 
Take care of yourself,

#selfloveselfcarefirst #emotions #grief #CS Lewis #a grief observed #feel it

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