My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Friday, October 25, 2019

The Perils of Lying to Ourselves Include Certain Sabotage of the Practice of Self Love Self Care First.

It's Sunita here,

I was in Columbus Ohio last weekend to attend a Sleep Medicine course at the Metz Center. I had been looking forward to this opportunity for the past few months, to not only learn and share, but to get to meet other sleep professionals. I had planned to be there a day before the course started, so I could explore the city and give myself some time to do nothing but think and feel without the interruption of the daily demands of my life. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it. 

Well, Thursday didn't go the way I had planned. Let me explain.

Fridays are the days I post my blog That usually means that I dedicate time on Thursdays to write it and then share it the next day. I chose Friday because it was suggested as a day when blogs get read most (don't ask me about where these algorithms come from and how). I figured, I don't see patients on most Fridays so this will work perfectly. 

But the reality is that I am usually scheduled to do non patient related things at work and find it very difficult to carve out the time that I need to write. And because of that, when I have been sitting down to write, it had begun to feel more like an obligation, than a passion to share and help others. 

I had downplayed this unease and even went so far as to be self critical. My inner voice had the audacity to tell me "If you had used your time better during the week, you would not have this mad, last minute panic."

So Thursday in Columbus was spent in my hotel room, frantically writing and posting, instead of exploring the city and chilling. 

It's at that point that I decided to STOP DECEIVING MYSELF and look at the reality of my situation.

Friday was not working out as the best day for me to post my blog. Something had to change.

An act of love and sharing became an event of stress and distress for me. The total opposite of Self Love Self Care First. I did not want to admit that, even to myself. And admitting it here took a lot of courage. But I hope it illuminates the point I'm making this week. 

The perils of lying to ourselves lead us to harm. 
When we don't pay attention to how we feel, we derail our commitment to live honestly and free. 
Self Love Self Care First demands absolute honesty from us. 
We feel bad when we aren't because it is a betrayal of ourselves, and in that we lose our essence, agency and authenticity. 
That essence and agency is our power. 
To fuel it we must practice Self Love Self Care First.
Looking at what causes us distress requires us to be flexible and ready to change our beliefs, convictions and mind about things. 
It's okay to give ourselves the permission to do so. 
Fluidity is health. 
It is protective of us and guides us to take care of ourselves in ways that we can be our best and give our best.

So from now on, I look forward to visit you at on Sundays.

I hope you will reflect on any thing that you want to do differently so you may enjoy and relish the experience as well.

Wishing you a week of flexibility,
Be well Do well Live well,
With love,


Photo Credit- Nina Singh Carlsen, The Dovre National Park in Norway

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