My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Sunday, March 14, 2021

Rumi's Exquisite Insight on the Apparent Duality of Love as a Self Love Self Care First Practice


It's Sunita here.

Self Love Self Care First sounds straightforward as a concept. However, there are many layers of complexity to it's practice, which can often be obscured in an attempt to simplify this powerful and empowering mantra.

"If I love myself, I love you.
If I love you, I love myself"

In this couplet, Rumi has perfectly captured love as a practice of Self Love Self Care First. Self love is the first step, and mandatory requirement to be able to develop the capacity to love another.

The practice of Self Love Self Care First at times must be all about nurturing ourselves, by excluding everyone else from our space (mental, physical, or both) with the purpose of recharging, and regrouping with, and within ourselves. 

However, because we are wired for connection as social animals, we also crave to love others, and to be loved by others. That is why there is another piece, and equally important component of love as a practice of Self Love Self Care First.  

The other component of loving, as a practice of Self Love Self Care First is of extending ourselves in an outward way to embrace others. Caring about them, and being loved by them in return boosts our wellness systems, and provides us with the connection we need to survive and thrive. 

To know which form of love as SLSCF is necessary for us at a given time, we must intimately be acquainted with ourselves. Only then we can become our own healers. We must learn to tap into what we instinctively and intimately know we need, to be our best and most joyful selves. From this mindfulness comes knowledge that helps create a place of self compassion within. It is from here that we find our innate wisdom that helps us make the choice to either retreat within, or reach out to connect.

We cannot offer love that we don't feel inside, or have within us. It's as simple as that. If we don't feel worthy enough to receive our own love, how can we ever feel good enough to allow others to shower us with their love. 

Love is madness.
Love is hallucination.
Love is warmth.
Love is exhilaration.
Love is awe.
Love is meditation.
Love is understanding.
Love is creation.
Love is passion.
Love is an endless celebration. 

-Sunita Merriman

Rumi, the mystic poet and teacher knew that love is the most powerful force in this universe. So he showed us the path to love.

"If I love myself, I love you.
If I love you, I love myself"

We enjoy the illumination and fragrance of a candle until the wax burns off and extinguishes the flame. We don't keep trying to light a candle once the wax is gone because we know that the wick cannot carry a flame without any wax. But we have no such self awareness, and keep pushing ourselves to do, and give, long after our depletion, ignoring the fact that we cannot offer to others what we don't have.


Until next time,
Wishing you the ecstasy of love,

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