My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Sunday, March 21, 2021

What Should you Say to a Child Who Has Lost a Parent- Tell Them How Brave They Are.


It's Sunita here.

Losing a parent is devastating at all ages, but to a child, it is absolutely unbearable. How the grief of a child is handled by their family is a major factor in how well, and how soon they can heal. 

If it is complicated by family strife, poverty, mental illness of the surviving parent, lack of resources, and many other limiting and debilitating factors, the grief of such children can be prolonged into pathological grieving and childhood trauma (ACEs) that has lifelong effects. 

Pathological grieving is defined as grief that extends beyond an average time of 2 years before the loss becomes a bearable event. At that point we resume taking an interest in our lives in a more normal manner. 

Resilience can be developed through connection with an adult who shows genuine care and concern for a bereaved child. 

So, if you know such a family or child, don’t hesitate to offer your support. It’s always better to say something- anything- from your heart, than not to. Don't let your fear that you may say the wrong thing stop you from reaching out with your sympathy, love, and understanding. Your caring will come through, even if awkwardly expressed. 

  • Don’t second guess yourself, and just say what’s in your heart. 
  • Offer to listen to them and don't take it personally if they don't talk to you about their feelings at first. Just be patient. They will, when they are ready.
  • Spend time with them. 
  • Make them feel like they matter, and that you are there for them. 
  • Encourage them to talk about their feelings of sadness, confusion and loss. 
  • Help them look towards the future in a positive way.
  • Try your best to be consistent with your efforts and companionship.


Tell them how brave they are to feel their pain- and that they will be ok! 

I’m so glad Prince Harry is speaking out about his grief on losing his mom, and is sharing his feelings. It will be healing for him, and very helpful for the children and adults who hear his heartfelt words.

Until next time,
With my thanks to Prince Harry,
And with love for him, and for all those of us who have had this hole in our hearts,

Photograph of Prince Harry credit- BEN STANSALL / AFP/Getty Images

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