My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

Hello,
It’s Sunita here.

I am a poet, an author, a wife, a mother, a sleep doctor, and a childhood trauma survivor. I healed when I understood that I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my mental health and my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

I now want to challenge and inspire you to move beyond your old stories so you can embrace possibility and fulfill your potential. So, if that is where you are in your life, I invite you to come visit with me when I write. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the bottom line is always Self Love Self Care First®.

Where did SLSCF® come from? I realized that I needed to find meaning in my suffering. I kept thinking, “What did I come out of this journey with? How can I convey what I now know other than what is in my poetry? What is the simplest, most fundamental, basic understanding of human nature that I discovered? And that is where Self Love Self Care First® comes from. I discovered that If we do not love ourselves, we do not care for ourselves. The pain of our lives and the messages we receive go deep to cause us at times to not pay attention to ourselves, and at times even hate ourselves. It is a difficult journey. And these feelings and beliefs come from the deepest parts of our unconscious. Self Love Self Care First® is a journey of learning we are all on. This is The Journey. To find compassion for ourselves. To find acceptance for ourselves. To find love for ourselves.

Find your light. Because we are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside. We must move inwards- not outward to look for the light. The light is inside you.

And when you find yours, you light up the world!
I hope you will join me in a journey of discovery, wonder, growth, and a celebration of our truth.

And love…

Because what else is there to talk about?

Be well, Do well, Live well,
Warmly,
Sunita



Sunday, March 21, 2021

What Should you Say to a Child Who Has Lost a Parent- Tell Them How Brave They Are.




Hello,

It's Sunita here.

Losing a parent is devastating at all ages, but to a child, it is absolutely unbearable. How the grief of a child is handled by their family is a major factor in how well, and how soon they can heal. 

If it is complicated by family strife, poverty, mental illness of the surviving parent, lack of resources, and many other limiting and debilitating factors, the grief of such children can be prolonged into pathological grieving and childhood trauma (ACEs) that has lifelong effects. 

Pathological grieving is defined as grief that extends beyond an average time of 2 years before the loss becomes a bearable event. At that point we resume taking an interest in our lives in a more normal manner. 

Resilience can be developed through connection with an adult who shows genuine care and concern for a bereaved child. 

So, if you know such a family or child, don’t hesitate to offer your support. It’s always better to say something- anything- from your heart, than not to. Don't let your fear that you may say the wrong thing stop you from reaching out with your sympathy, love, and understanding. Your caring will come through, even if awkwardly expressed. 

  • Don’t second guess yourself, and just say what’s in your heart. 
  • Offer to listen to them and don't take it personally if they don't talk to you about their feelings at first. Just be patient. They will, when they are ready.
  • Spend time with them. 
  • Make them feel like they matter, and that you are there for them. 
  • Encourage them to talk about their feelings of sadness, confusion and loss. 
  • Help them look towards the future in a positive way.
  • Try your best to be consistent with your efforts and companionship.

 

Tell them how brave they are to feel their pain- and that they will be ok! 

I’m so glad Prince Harry is speaking out about his grief on losing his mom, and is sharing his feelings. It will be healing for him, and very helpful for the children and adults who hear his heartfelt words.

Until next time,
With my thanks to Prince Harry,
And with love for him, and for all those of us who have had this hole in our hearts,
Sunita


Photograph of Prince Harry credit- BEN STANSALL / AFP/Getty Images

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