My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Friday, November 2, 2018

Forbidden Love

Just thinking of loving you
Seems so felonious
From Forbidden Love
#12 in the collection


It's Sunita here.

Self Love Self Care First is a simple phrase that sounds earnestly good to me. When I hear it, I automatically connect to the common sense that goes along with this concept.

But it was decades before I realized how deeply ingrained and hidden to me my lack of self-love was. It was years of grappling with the devastating and damaging effects of developmental trauma that led to my discovery of the twisted relationship I had with myself.

It wasn't all bad though. I had always had a healthy and strong component to my being that helped me become the successful person that I was. But, there was a constant internal production of self-doubt and disapproval of me buried within my psyche that would never allow me to be completely happy. Whatever I achieved was not enough, whatever I accomplished was never good enough. It was a vicious cycle of dissatisfaction and discontent.

As I worked through the process of repair, I regained my sense of self and ultimately found out that I was good enough and worthy to be loved for who I am- not for what I do.

But that love for me needed to come from me. That is what built my resilience and healthy drive to fulfill my potential as a human being. Now anything I do comes from a place of self love- not from a need to fill an infinite hole.

As I got healthy and started to consistently play by the Self Love Self Care First rules, I started to notice how many others were suffering because of their dissociation from their highest self.

Brain damage and mental illness is just one of the ways we lose touch with our self. We are shaped and influenced by society's messaging, role definitions, family structures, cultural expectations, portrayal of beauty and images of success in advertising, gender politics, social media distortions, peer pressure and frankly, projected inadequacies of others on us.

From the time we are born, we absorb all of this. Consciously and even more dangerously, unconsciously.

If you feel that you want to break free of whatever it is that is preventing you from loving yourself as the divine being that you are, then this blog is for you.

I intimately understand the daunting challenges of stripping off the layers of negative messaging and unconscious drives to self sabotage. Or achieve empty success.

I now also intimately understand that Self Love Self Care First is the only way for us to live a life of joy, fulfill our potential and most importantly, selflessly serve others.

So, I hope you will continue to tune in here on Fridays and will invite your friends to join us as well. This is a complex and complicated issue that demands an honest conversation. And that is what I promise you. I will be talking about both the science and spirituality that must be accessed to get to the point of self love. And celebrating our successes as we go along!

What will be your act of Self Love Self Care First today? I am headed to the gym to get my groove for the day.

Be well Do well Live well,


PS- To read the rest of Forbidden Love in Stripping: My Fight to Find Me or listen to me reading it to you on the Audio version of the book, please visit

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