My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Sunday, April 19, 2020

Why Your Post COVID-19 Pandemic Health and Wellness Must be Your Focus Today

It's Sunita here.

It is impossible to predict what our life will look like in the years to come but one thing is certain. If we do not deal with the full gamut of emotions that have come along with the COVID pandemic and its impact on us, then we are certain to see a wave of physical and mental illnesses plague us in the future.

Let me explain.

Right now we are in the middle of coping with the immediate effects of the assault of Coronavirus. This has involved us to respond to the threat of COVID 19 to our health and our lives and taking actions that are designed to protect us.

Extreme and sudden changes in our patterns of living and movement in the world have taken a tremendous amount of energy from us. Staying home, social distancing and limited physical contact with others are measures that have been imposed on us, and for the most part, voluntarily followed by most.

Support for the front line workers in health care systems and essential businesses that are the backbone of our supply chains and economy has become the focus of citizens. Organizing events and fundraisers to collect money and resources for those in our society who have been left jobless, and without means to support their families is ongoing.

We are all looking to do something to help out in some way. Big or small, it is all important and meaningful and has been the way we have found some control over this invisible, but menacing foe.

The ability to become selfless helping heroes and creative and collaborative problem solvers is the need of the hour.
That is the only way we will find a way to survive this threat to our very existence. This is what will pull us through this dark and trying time.

But what will happen if we don't deal with the full gamut of our emotions during this period of collective trauma? What follows repression of our most painful and darkest of emotions? 

Anger, rage, worry, anxiety, helplessness, grief and sadness are the tip of the iceberg of the COVID 19 darkness. All of these emotions must not only be felt by us, but dealt by us in order for us to heal and move forward. Only then do we have a future of possibility and potential. If we put all our focus on being positive and charged up to overcome, we will neglect to sit with our  feelings of loss and grief. That is a recipe for disaster in the years to come.

Because with the fundamental understanding that the mind can affect the body's physiology, what will follow will encompass not only depression and anxiety, but actual physical illnesses and chronic conditions.

It's simple.

  1. The mind and body are intimately connected.
  2. Stress, trauma and repressed emotions can cause real physical symptoms.
  3. Understanding this connection and educating yourself is a key component in relieving symptoms.

is an article in the Globe and Mail by journalist Erin Anderssen on the work of Dr. Allan Abass and his team at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Canada. It is an excellent introduction to learn how traumatic events in our past can lead to debilitation of both our body, and our mind. These deficits and defenses cripple us and leave us unable to live a healthy and full life.

As we charge ahead into the world of tomorrow, there are many unknowns. But there is one thing that is a fact- our health and well being will remain instrumental, and the most important resource we have in helping us navigate the task of creating a future full of success, happiness, meaning and hope. For that to happen, we must acknowledge and process the feelings that have come along with this trauma in our life.

So as a critical practice of Self Love Self Care First, we must focus on our post COVID-19 health today by feeling, dealing and healing!

Wishing you a day of reflection of your pain, loss and grief,
With love,


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