My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Sunday, February 9, 2020

Why Reassuring the Most Important Person in Your Life That You Love Them Must be An Intentional Act

It's Sunita here.

Valentine's Day is around the corner.

We have an opportunity to express our love and appreciation for the most important people in our lives. What a wonderful day!

But what if you don't have someone who exclusively loves you? What if you are alone and lonely? Valentine's Day can turn out to be a challenging day for you.

But the fact is that none of us are alone, regardless of our relationship status. 

We always have someone who is our constant companion. This person sees us through every occasion and event of our lives. Cheering us on from the sidelines when we tackle big challenges, disappearing into the background when we are being celebrated by others, and comforting us when we are deserted by those whom we trusted and relied upon.

So this Valentine's Day, I will choose to reassure this person of my love and devotion to them as well. I will commit to being there for them at all times. I will make sure that I visit with them every day and treat them with the kindness and respect they deserve. Because I have been guilty of being cruel to them, and of taking them for granted on more occasions than was fair. I'm embarrassed when I recall all the times that I ignored them, and put others above them.

But I've been doing a lot of work to make this relationship right. 

You can too.

This Valentine's Day, I will send myself this note. It is my intentional act of reassuring the most important person in my life that I love them and am fully committed to them.

And I will share this poem with myself. It is a beautiful and wise message for me on how to be in this world. It is also a reminder for me to continue to practice Self Love Self Care First. 


Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself to others,
you may become vain or bitter, for always
there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals, 
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

By Max Ehrmann 
Copyright 1927

I dedicate this weeks blog to Dr. Liana Harper. 

Liana was my very first BFF. We met in Lethbridge (a small town then in Alberta, Canada where we were both born) and shared our early childhood together. Life took us on different paths, and through different places, but when we reconnected, we both found ourselves at the same 'heart place' as we were decades ago. So we are truly BFFs and prove that love is a live, dynamic energy. Liana shared 'Desiderata' with me recently and I am delighted to bring it to you.

Wishing you a Valentine's week full of love,


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