My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

It’s Sunita here.

I am a poet, an author, a wife, a mother, a sleep doctor, and a childhood trauma survivor. I healed when I understood that I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my mental health and my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

I now want to challenge and inspire you to move beyond your old stories so you can embrace possibility and fulfill your potential. So, if that is where you are in your life, I invite you to come visit with me when I write. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the bottom line is always Self Love Self Care First®.

Where did SLSCF® come from? I realized that I needed to find meaning in my suffering. I kept thinking, “What did I come out of this journey with? How can I convey what I now know other than what is in my poetry? What is the simplest, most fundamental, basic understanding of human nature that I discovered? And that is where Self Love Self Care First® comes from. I discovered that If we do not love ourselves, we do not care for ourselves. The pain of our lives and the messages we receive go deep to cause us at times to not pay attention to ourselves, and at times even hate ourselves. It is a difficult journey. And these feelings and beliefs come from the deepest parts of our unconscious. Self Love Self Care First® is a journey of learning we are all on. This is The Journey. To find compassion for ourselves. To find acceptance for ourselves. To find love for ourselves.

Find your light. Because we are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside. We must move inwards- not outward to look for the light. The light is inside you.

And when you find yours, you light up the world!
I hope you will join me in a journey of discovery, wonder, growth, and a celebration of our truth.

And love…

Because what else is there to talk about?

Be well, Do well, Live well,

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Trauma Leads to Treason

It's Sunita here.

Treason is defined as the offense of attempting by overt acts to overthrow the government of the state to which the offender owes allegiance or to kill or personally injure the sovereign or the sovereign's family.

In law, treason is criminal disloyalty, typically to the state.

Why are we talking about Treason today? Let me explain.

Abuse, neglect, constant dismissal and disapproval of infants and children by primary caregivers are only a few of the now recognized, and currently studied trauma injuries in our society. The impact of genocide, war, refugee status and forced migration is heavy on families. It aggressively and completely destroys a child's sense of security. The burdens of parents who are mentally ill and/or have suffered from ACE's themselves are impossible to not actively be transmitted to their children. Many a times the consequences of such trans-generational trauma does not become apparent until years later.

Attachment Trauma and Adverse Childhood Experience's, ACE's affect every cell in our bodies. The impact of such trauma destroys our sense of self that must be developed, nurtured, encouraged and be present in healthy amounts in order to be motivated to practice Self Love. 

When we are struggling with depression, anxiety and the many other mental and physical manifestations of  trauma, we are unable to develop the necessary Self Care skills. Not only are we unable to practice Self Love Self Care First, but we engage in treason against our being. 

Treason as defined above! We sabotage our selves in many ways. Sometimes we adopt aggressive tactics against ourselves by turning to addictive behaviors like alcoholism, overeating, cutting ourselves, etc. Other times we turn to guerrilla warfare. Sabotaging our most important relationships, procrastinating on critical tasks that must be done to keep us out of trouble, performing at levels that are sub par of our intellect and potential are just a few of such acts.

We create an internal system of self sabotage, self punishment and self betrayal that we feed incessantly. Some of this sabotage is conscious to us, but most of it maybe unknown to us and driven by our unconscious. Even when we wake up to this tyranny against our mind, body and soul, we remain unable to change our path due to the practiced destructive patterns that our brain has stored as commands.

Trauma leads us to commit treason against our being. We betray ourselves, over and over again. We march up to The Traitor's Gate and present ourselves for gruesome torture and a most certain execution. Self Love Self Care First is only a concept, and not a reality for us- until our brain heals. And that requires treatment that is effective. And a relationship to develop that models a healthy attachment pattern. In other words, it will require Love.

As hard as the process of healing sounds, I know that it is possible. That is why I share my experience of healing through my poetry in Stripping : My Fight to Find Me. My poems are by no means easy to read. They were almost impossible to write. But I had to find the courage within to write about the inhumane imprisonment of my childhood trauma. Ultimately, I found liberation from my traitorous self thanks to what science had to offer me in terms of treatment (Davanloo's Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy, ISTDP) and, what humanity had to offer me in terms of unconditional love.

I now practice Self Love Self Care First. I hope you do too. And if you are stuck at the door of The Traitor's Gate and beyond, I hope you will find the courage to fight to heal.

Wishing you Hope for your Healing,
Be well Do well Live well


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