My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Tuesday, January 31, 2023

Are You Hard on Yourself When You Struggle or Fail? Then This One's for You!


It's Sunita here.

Are you one of those people who have little patience for themselves when they fail at something?

You are not alone. 

In our culture of 'good vibes only' we are led to believe that if we work hard enough we will succeed. Our societal focus on success being a manifestation and sum result of our efforts is not only wrong, but harmful for us. It leads to disillusionment and self doubt when we fail.

Instead of seeing failure as the path to success and a source of motivation to learn from, we view it as a personal defect. It is a hard blow to our sense of self worth. There are many institutions, systems, and individuals out there who will amplify our failures to such an extent that we start to believe we are doomed for a sad life way out there on the fringes of civilization.

Nothing is further than the truth.

I learnt this truth the hard way. Now I am driven to share it with you with the hopes that you will not suffer as much as I did to understand how the universe works.

Things may seem impossible to you at this moment.

But they will not remain this way. To win it, you must be in it. Just stay in the game of life.

Know that any challenges you are facing, desperate and full of despair as you may feel right now, are temporary.

I am a firm believer of asking for help when things get rough. Get professional help. Don't be shy or embarrassed to seek assistance. None of us have all the answers or ability to see the 360 of our lives.

Above all, never give up your sense of self worth to anyone. Be kind and compassionate to yourself when you struggle. Life is hard. It's a grind. But that's not new.

The unrealistic portrayal of life these days of being a breezy meadow of flow and blooming flowers is a big fat lie that misleads us to view our challenges as unfair, unacceptable and cruel. That is just not true. It's just life being life. So, be kind to yourself when you hit a hurdle and then kick some ass. You will succeed.


Give yourself a big hug, rest, (always) get some great sleep, a good cry, a rant on your best friend's shoulder, a short pity party, a run in the woods, a boxing class- or whatever else it will take to get you up again.

Moving forwards,

Until next time,


#TWBH #the way back home #SLSCF #self love self care first #self belief #self love #self care #self compassion #life #get up #do the work #life is tough #it's okay #you got this

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