My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Wednesday, August 3, 2022

Enough Already! A Push Back to Ultimate Performance Talk with a Shout Out to Something Way More Important



It's Sunita here.

I've had it with ultimate performance talk. 

While I do not dispute the fact that we all must do the work to become the best version of ourselves, and I admit to devoting most of my waking moments, and even the time I spend sleeping (sleep and its relationship to our consciousness is still a long way from being understood) in service of that aspiration, I find the conversation about 'Ultimate Performance' now dominating our airwaves in an extremely unhealthy way. 

So, I am pushing back on all ultimate performance talk.

Simplicity. Quiet. Just be. Self acceptance. As is. As we are at this very moment.

We are enough, without the actions of being productive every waking second of our day.

We have tremendous worth, without having to aim for ‘ultimate performance’ every day.

Finding acceptance of ourselves as the flawed entities that we are, with our inherent limitations, requires much more courage, than going out there and performing external feats of ‘ultimate performance’.

Finding the courage to get up every day, and do something to better ourselves a little more, despite the weakness we feel inside, is a million times more brave than optimizing our day.

Surrendering our arrogance of 'performing optimally’ might be a good thing for us.

Optimal performance, just like perfection, is a cruel myth we are encouraged to chase. We can lose ourselves in the process of chasing that myth.

Finding grace for ourselves is the more important piece here.

Turning to the splendor and humility of nature to learn from, and be inspired by, is a gift that is always available to us.

Stay open.
Move forwards.
Be kind to your self.
That is ultimate performance.

Until next time,


Photo credit- Tim

#SLSCF #self love self care first  #lily pad #grace #simplicity #humility #self care #nature #inspiration #ultimate performance #self compassion #kindness

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