My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Sunday, January 26, 2020

I May, I Might, I Must- And Once you Decide- Adopt The Art of Wearing Blinders

It's Sunita here.

The poet Marianne Moore used very few words when she wrote 'I May, I Might, I Must'. 


If you tell me why the fen
appears impassable, I then
will tell you why I think that I
can get across if I try.

                                                                    -Marianne Moore

She is not accepting of another's opinion as the truth. 

She has confidence in herself and challenges an accepted belief.

She is sure of herself and of her capability to be successful. But she reserves her decision to go ahead and actually take on the task.

How many times have you committed to something for reasons that had nothing to do with what you truly wanted?

That could be due to a plethora of reasons. You may have awareness of some of these reasons, yet some maybe driven by your unconscious.

Pausing before making any decision is a sure way to be able to think through your actions.

Asking yourself which one of these responses informs you of how you feel about the project, person, job, opportunity or anything that you need to make a decision about.
I May
I Might
I Must

Whatever elicits a I Must is where you want to focus your energies. That is something that nourishes you.

Don't ignore the pangs of hunger. Don't downplay your needs. Don't talk yourself out from accomplishing your goals, and going after your dreams. Don't be led by others in what you commit to. Put away your fears. Get professional help if you are in an abusive relationship that diminishes you. Get help if you have a hard time standing up for yourself. Do whatever it takes to find what you are meant to do. And then go for it.

The struggle and challenges do not end once you decide what your path is.

That is the part of the story that gets missed in many of the quotes, blogs and memes that you see floating around.

Let me tell you about the reality of what happens after you find the truth of your existence and commit to it. There is a peace that comes over you because you are now aligned with your highest self. But the work remains hard and the obstacles don't go away. There will also be the hurdle of those who will attempt to dissuade you, discourage you, mock you, scare you and even sabotage you as you go about your journey.

And that is why you will need to perfect the art of wearing blinders.

Wishing you a week of powerful and truthful choices,
With love,


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