My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

It’s Sunita here.

I am a poet, an author, a wife, a mother, a sleep doctor, and a childhood trauma survivor. I healed when I understood that I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my mental health and my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

I now want to challenge and inspire you to move beyond your old stories so you can embrace possibility and fulfill your potential. So, if that is where you are in your life, I invite you to come visit with me when I write. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the bottom line is always Self Love Self Care First®.

Where did SLSCF® come from? I realized that I needed to find meaning in my suffering. I kept thinking, “What did I come out of this journey with? How can I convey what I now know other than what is in my poetry? What is the simplest, most fundamental, basic understanding of human nature that I discovered? And that is where Self Love Self Care First® comes from. I discovered that If we do not love ourselves, we do not care for ourselves. The pain of our lives and the messages we receive go deep to cause us at times to not pay attention to ourselves, and at times even hate ourselves. It is a difficult journey. And these feelings and beliefs come from the deepest parts of our unconscious. Self Love Self Care First® is a journey of learning we are all on. This is The Journey. To find compassion for ourselves. To find acceptance for ourselves. To find love for ourselves.

Find your light. Because we are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside. We must move inwards- not outward to look for the light. The light is inside you.

And when you find yours, you light up the world!
I hope you will join me in a journey of discovery, wonder, growth, and a celebration of our truth.

And love…

Because what else is there to talk about?

Be well, Do well, Live well,

Friday, June 28, 2019

Pause to Party! A Self Love Self Care First Essential Edict

It's Sunita here.

If you've ever had a goal and were working towards it, you may relate to this. It goes something like this.

You have an idea. Or a wish. Or a dream. Or a goal. It doesn't matter which one of these. They are just different words used for the same thing- what we desire.

You think about it. This phase may take days, months or even years. Or it may be an instantaneous decision. (That's not the important part of this blog however.)

You make a plan. At least, I hope you do...

You take action.

Next thing you know, you are on your way to accomplishing what you set out to do.

The problem is that we forget to pause and acknowledge all the small successes we have along the way. We focus on getting to the finish line, thinking that once we do, we will stop and celebrate. There are many things that are wrong with this.

First of all, by the time we get to the finish line, we will have thought of another goal. This new endeavor will take up our time and energy and eclipse any celebration of what we were originally working towards. Having accomplished what we set out to do may also actually seem anti-climatic, with feelings of disappointment flooding us. I often experienced this and wondered at such moments, "Was this all it was supposed to feel like?" Worse still, we may not feel worthy of a celebration of our success...

So I have changed how I go about my life, with of course, Self Love Self Care First as my filter.


I consciously stop periodically to recognize that I am working hard on something that I chose to pursue. Instead of celebrating the results I get, I acknowledge the effort I am making and commend myself on my resolve to stick with my plan. I congratulate myself on getting through patches of doubt, weakness, boredom, distractions, fear, laziness, disinterest, hater voices, and anything else that pops its ugly head up and tries to dissuade me from forging ahead on my journey. These obstacles are real and fighting them successfully takes a lot of courage, effort and determination. And finally, and most importantly, I pause so I may acknowledge and celebrate the people who are helping me achieve my goals. 

So I pause to party!

A couple of years ago I decided that I wanted to make my mental and physical strength and resilience my priority. So I joined a gym near my home. The picture above is of me with my dedicated Fitness Coaches. Paulette Smithwrick took me in as a 'dough girl' who was scared to go beyond the check in desk at the gym. She trained me, gradually to become someone who actually started to feel comfortable in the free weights area. aka where all the bodybuilders hang :). Ronald Tucker tag teamed with Paulette to push me to challenge myself beyond what I thought I could do. He is the king of deadlift form and guess what? I love to deadlift now thanks to his expert coaching and encouragement. They are responsible for me being injury free. And they are the reason why I continue to progress.

Before you think I'm ready to enter any fitness competitions, I want to stop you right there. I am a work in progress and can at the drop of a hat list many things about my body that I haven't even begun to address in my workouts yet. 

So why do I the pause to party?

For many reasons.

Firstly, and most importantly, because I'm still at the gym. Not only that, I love to get there and work out. It has become a habit. I don't care what the results of my efforts are. I'm proud that I have stuck with my goal. I celebrate the joy that I get after a workout. I am proud that I devote this time to myself. I am grateful for the relationships that I now have with Paulette and Ron and everyone else at the gym. And yes, I won't deny that I do love seeing the results of my efforts.

But I have a ways to go before I am even close to accomplishing my goals. I wonder now if those goals are not changing and evolving. I think they are. 

So I refuse to wait to get to an arbitrary end point to celebrate. I now pause to party along the way.

I hope you do too!

Wishing you a week of Pause to Party!
Be well Do well Live well,
With love,

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