My book of poetry, "Stripping- My fight to find Me" is a story of the triumph of the human spirit. It is a story of our deep need for connection and the infinite power of love to heal.

I am energy. I am infinity. But I am also a poet, author, artist. wife, mother, sleep doctor, and attachment and complex childhood trauma survivor. I healed only when I understood I was broken, not a victim. I learnt that everything I needed was within me. And that my inner life was the essence and driving force of my existence.

Where did Self Love Self Care First® come from?

I needed to find meaning in my suffering so I kept thinking, “What truth did I come out of this journey with? How can I share what I know in forms other than what I receive through my poetry? What is the most foundational and fundamental truth about human existence that I discovered to be true in my suffering? That is where SLSCF® comes from.

I discovered that if we do not know our truth, we cannot love ourselves. The pain and suffering of our lives, the false external messages about life, success and achievement that we receive, and the projections and imposed expectations of others we are subjected to, mangle our truth, distract us from our destined path, and cut deep into our body, mind, and soul. They cause us to not pay attention to ourselves, and to how we live our lives. These feelings and beliefs descend into our unconscious and become habitual patterns that hijack our lives.

SelfLoveSelfCareFirst® is the journey of truthful self-examination and acceptance of our truth. Only when we are ready to find value, love, and compassion for our true selves do we begin to live free.

This blog is a celebration of love, stillness, growth, joy, discovery, and the truth. The conversation is honest, the topics are varied, the perspectives are from many angles, but the common thread weaving the discussions together is Self Love Self Care First®.

You are not moving towards any light. There is no light out there. It is inside you. You must move inwards- not outwards to look for it. No one can guide you there. Only you can give yourself the permission to embark on this journey. Only you can reclaim yourself.

Your freedom is in your hands.


Friday, June 28, 2019

Pause to Party! A Self Love Self Care First Essential Edict

It's Sunita here.

If you've ever had a goal and were working towards it, you may relate to this. It goes something like this.

You have an idea. Or a wish. Or a dream. Or a goal. It doesn't matter which one of these. They are just different words used for the same thing- what we desire.

You think about it. This phase may take days, months or even years. Or it may be an instantaneous decision. (That's not the important part of this blog however.)

You make a plan. At least, I hope you do...

You take action.

Next thing you know, you are on your way to accomplishing what you set out to do.

The problem is that we forget to pause and acknowledge all the small successes we have along the way. We focus on getting to the finish line, thinking that once we do, we will stop and celebrate. There are many things that are wrong with this.

First of all, by the time we get to the finish line, we will have thought of another goal. This new endeavor will take up our time and energy and eclipse any celebration of what we were originally working towards. Having accomplished what we set out to do may also actually seem anti-climatic, with feelings of disappointment flooding us. I often experienced this and wondered at such moments, "Was this all it was supposed to feel like?" Worse still, we may not feel worthy of a celebration of our success...

So I have changed how I go about my life, with of course, Self Love Self Care First as my filter.


I consciously stop periodically to recognize that I am working hard on something that I chose to pursue. Instead of celebrating the results I get, I acknowledge the effort I am making and commend myself on my resolve to stick with my plan. I congratulate myself on getting through patches of doubt, weakness, boredom, distractions, fear, laziness, disinterest, hater voices, and anything else that pops its ugly head up and tries to dissuade me from forging ahead on my journey. These obstacles are real and fighting them successfully takes a lot of courage, effort and determination. And finally, and most importantly, I pause so I may acknowledge and celebrate the people who are helping me achieve my goals. 

So I pause to party!

A couple of years ago I decided that I wanted to make my mental and physical strength and resilience my priority. So I joined a gym near my home. The picture above is of me with my dedicated Fitness Coaches. Paulette Smithwrick took me in as a 'dough girl' who was scared to go beyond the check in desk at the gym. She trained me, gradually to become someone who actually started to feel comfortable in the free weights area. aka where all the bodybuilders hang :). Ronald Tucker tag teamed with Paulette to push me to challenge myself beyond what I thought I could do. He is the king of deadlift form and guess what? I love to deadlift now thanks to his expert coaching and encouragement. They are responsible for me being injury free. And they are the reason why I continue to progress.

Before you think I'm ready to enter any fitness competitions, I want to stop you right there. I am a work in progress and can at the drop of a hat list many things about my body that I haven't even begun to address in my workouts yet. 

So why do I the pause to party?

For many reasons.

Firstly, and most importantly, because I'm still at the gym. Not only that, I love to get there and work out. It has become a habit. I don't care what the results of my efforts are. I'm proud that I have stuck with my goal. I celebrate the joy that I get after a workout. I am proud that I devote this time to myself. I am grateful for the relationships that I now have with Paulette and Ron and everyone else at the gym. And yes, I won't deny that I do love seeing the results of my efforts.

But I have a ways to go before I am even close to accomplishing my goals. I wonder now if those goals are not changing and evolving. I think they are. 

So I refuse to wait to get to an arbitrary end point to celebrate. I now pause to party along the way.

I hope you do too!

Wishing you a week of Pause to Party!
Be well Do well Live well,
With love,

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