Even though Stripping- My fight to find Me brings to life my experience, it is a story of many of us, those who suffer and those who feel shame.

My poems will push you to ask questions of yourself. The ferociousness of my battle will give you an exhilarating rush and invigorate you. My struggle and victory to give myself permission to love myself and seek a life of joy will inspire you. My discovery that we may be broken, but we are not victims, will empower you.

“Sunita Merriman demonstrates in this book what is at the heart of healing- courage. Whether you are a clinician or a client, this book can serve as a guide to the healing process.”

- Kristin A.R. Osborn, Author of Paraverbal Communication in Psychotherapy: Beyond the Words

“Sunita Merriman’s poems touched my heart. I read them and felt great compassion”

- Marion Solomon, Ph.D Author of Narcissism and Intimacy, Co Editor of Healing Trauma

“I am overwhelmed by the emotion and vivid imagery that Dr. Sunita Merriman has revealed in this remarkable book. Her openness, her intelligence, her willingness to bare her deepest thoughts and feelings- they almost make me want to look away at times. But of course, I cannot. And equally, I will read it again and again, taking new meaning and probing my own inner thoughts at a fresh level with each poem. It is a stunning achievement.”

- Lou Heckler, Professional Speaker and Speaker Coach

Friday, January 4, 2019

The Secret to Making Lasting Changes


Hello,
It's Sunita here.

It is the start of a new year again...

We are bombarded with headlines and blogs about making New Year Resolutions. Photographs and posts of people sharing their new year resolutions are plentiful on social media. Conversations usually center around the question, “So, any new year resolutions?

I had to cut my workout at my gym short on January 1st because it was too crowded for me to focus. But I know that things will change by February. And then by summer, usually it’s only the ‘regulars’ and new members who are still slogging it out.

The complexity to human behavior patterns is beyond the scope of my expertise and cannot be discussed in a single note, even if it was. However, I know firsthand that the only motivation that drives us to succeed to make healthy lasting changes comes from within us.

No one else can motivate us to make choices that result in us being more, doing more and having more of what we desire. That drive is internal.

But that’s not the secret that I am talking about...

I’m talking about what makes us get up when we fall. Because success is not a straight ride to the top. Ask anybody that has achieved anything meaningful, significant or noteworthy. They will tell you stories of the many failures they suffered through to finally get it ‘right’.
So, what’s the secret?
It is having infinite love for oneself.
That drives the ambition to go beyond where we are today. Self-love is the foundation upon which we can have the courage to say- we deserve more. It is the place from where we say, I am strong enough to do whatever it takes to achieve my goal. But more importantly, if I fail today, it’s okay because I will succeed tomorrow.

Self-love prevents us from taking a punitive direction of thoughts when things don’t go the way we had planned.

So, you couldn’t get to the gym today. You have 2 choices of looking at that. One is, “Boy, what a failure I am. Can’t even keep my New Year resolution for a month. I’m a loser”. The other is, “I’m disappointed that I couldn't work out according to my plan. I don’t feel good about that. Let me see what happened with my time yesterday. What can I do to make sure I stick with my exercise program because it sure feels good when I do, and I deserve that?” Looking at the reasons for not being able to carve the time for exercise does require honesty, but that’s another discussion.
We must be our biggest champions in order to succeed. The reminder to love ourselves must always be a conscious thought . The compassion required to forgive ourselves when we fall short is critical for us to be able to get past failures and forge ahead with optimism.
We must believe that we deserve to be more, do more and have more of whatever it is that we desire.
For that, we must love ourselves unequivocally and unconditionally.
And that is the secret.
So why not start 2019 with a commitment to Self Love Self Care First?
Try it. I promise you that it works!
Be well, Do well, Live well
Sunita


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